Friday, February 29, 2008
click here to learn more
have you heard about the sweet little baby girl who was birthed, then fell through the toilet on a moving train and lay on the tracks for a couple of hours before being found? it's an ubelievable story. click on the title of this post to learn more!!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
thirteen on thursday
13. i love drinking through straws. i feel like it's better for my teeth, like it will keep them from getting discolored.
12. the other day i definitely ran up to a guy and gave him a huge hug because i thought he was myles who i work with at the hampton. long story short ..... it wasn't myles.
11. you know, i have never seen an entire episode of american idol. i don't think it's quite as big of a hit as it used to be, but it is still pretty popular. and i have yet to see a show in full. honestly though, from what i've heard, many people watch just to see how mean simon will get. and i'm not really into watching people get dissed. but i'll try to watch at least one somday ...
10. my cousins have spent the last couple of nights with us and it has been so good to see them. my younger cousin was sleeping in my room and we had such sweet time just to talk. she is getting to be so pretty and all grown up. i can't believe it. we had such good "girl time" that i've never been able to have with her before
9. y'all, i am totally in love with code red mountain dew. i've always loved regular (well, diet) mountain dew ... but the cherry stuff came out and i am totally HOOKED. so now my question is why do convenience stores never carry DIET code red mountain dew in their fountains?? that is so not convenient. i am the queen of fountain drinks, i love them, and any time code red is one of the choices it calls my name until i have to give in. but they never have diet, which means i drink way more calories than i should. why can't they just offer freaking diet????
8. i don't believe that carrots improve your vision. because i love love LOVE carrots and eat them all the time. i have since i was little. and my eyesight is horrendous. i wear contacts in the strongest perscription they will give me as a 19-year-old. and i still don't see all that great. but ... for all i know ... my vision WOULD be even worse ... so maybe all those carrots have kept me from having even poorer vision ... even though i didn't think that was possible ... i guess it's all in how you look at it!! .... no pun intended!
7. i am so sick of having to pay fines at the library. i always forget when my books are due. and when you have several books checked out at once, it starts to add up!! i think i should start writing it in my planner so i don't forget ... i'm gonna go broke if i'm not careful. i bet i've single-handedly paid for about 3 more metropolitian library system branches with my late fees!
6. you know what sounds really delicious to me? lemon ice cream. do they make that?
5. jumping rope is probably one of the best aerobic exercises you can do. it's also one of the most difficult! when you're starting out, just try to do one minute a day. then eventually work your way up. it's really hard to do, but i promise you'll see results. it burns tons of calories, and builds your stamina.
4. i am sooo glad it's baseball season again!! it always comes at just the right time. i am just about to start having withdrawls and then i can relax because it's that time again. my brother had his first scrimage yesterday and i was so excited to be there! i was only able to stay for about 30 minutes, then i had to leave to go teach, but it was amazing! baseball makes me so happy!!!
3. i think miley cyrus is the cutest thing. i've seen hannah montana when babysitting, and i have to admit, i actually kind of enjoy it. she has the cutest voice and is a good little actress. i think she has great potential. she's definitely an "up-and-coming" star to watch.
2. you know what i've always always wanted to do? one of those old-timey photographs. you know, where you dress in old clothing and it's all black-and-white and it looks like you lived in a different era. i think those are so fun! i definitely want to have one done at some point in my life before i die!
1. mcdonalds is celebrating the leap year with free breakfast sandwiches!! they did it this morning but you haven't missed out because they're doing i t tomorrow as well. when you purchase a medium or large soft drink, you get a free something-or-other. i don't know what it's called, but i know it's yummy because daddy and i met there today to eat breakfast. can't beat free food!!
12. the other day i definitely ran up to a guy and gave him a huge hug because i thought he was myles who i work with at the hampton. long story short ..... it wasn't myles.
11. you know, i have never seen an entire episode of american idol. i don't think it's quite as big of a hit as it used to be, but it is still pretty popular. and i have yet to see a show in full. honestly though, from what i've heard, many people watch just to see how mean simon will get. and i'm not really into watching people get dissed. but i'll try to watch at least one somday ...
10. my cousins have spent the last couple of nights with us and it has been so good to see them. my younger cousin was sleeping in my room and we had such sweet time just to talk. she is getting to be so pretty and all grown up. i can't believe it. we had such good "girl time" that i've never been able to have with her before
9. y'all, i am totally in love with code red mountain dew. i've always loved regular (well, diet) mountain dew ... but the cherry stuff came out and i am totally HOOKED. so now my question is why do convenience stores never carry DIET code red mountain dew in their fountains?? that is so not convenient. i am the queen of fountain drinks, i love them, and any time code red is one of the choices it calls my name until i have to give in. but they never have diet, which means i drink way more calories than i should. why can't they just offer freaking diet????
8. i don't believe that carrots improve your vision. because i love love LOVE carrots and eat them all the time. i have since i was little. and my eyesight is horrendous. i wear contacts in the strongest perscription they will give me as a 19-year-old. and i still don't see all that great. but ... for all i know ... my vision WOULD be even worse ... so maybe all those carrots have kept me from having even poorer vision ... even though i didn't think that was possible ... i guess it's all in how you look at it!! .... no pun intended!
7. i am so sick of having to pay fines at the library. i always forget when my books are due. and when you have several books checked out at once, it starts to add up!! i think i should start writing it in my planner so i don't forget ... i'm gonna go broke if i'm not careful. i bet i've single-handedly paid for about 3 more metropolitian library system branches with my late fees!
6. you know what sounds really delicious to me? lemon ice cream. do they make that?
5. jumping rope is probably one of the best aerobic exercises you can do. it's also one of the most difficult! when you're starting out, just try to do one minute a day. then eventually work your way up. it's really hard to do, but i promise you'll see results. it burns tons of calories, and builds your stamina.
4. i am sooo glad it's baseball season again!! it always comes at just the right time. i am just about to start having withdrawls and then i can relax because it's that time again. my brother had his first scrimage yesterday and i was so excited to be there! i was only able to stay for about 30 minutes, then i had to leave to go teach, but it was amazing! baseball makes me so happy!!!
3. i think miley cyrus is the cutest thing. i've seen hannah montana when babysitting, and i have to admit, i actually kind of enjoy it. she has the cutest voice and is a good little actress. i think she has great potential. she's definitely an "up-and-coming" star to watch.
2. you know what i've always always wanted to do? one of those old-timey photographs. you know, where you dress in old clothing and it's all black-and-white and it looks like you lived in a different era. i think those are so fun! i definitely want to have one done at some point in my life before i die!
1. mcdonalds is celebrating the leap year with free breakfast sandwiches!! they did it this morning but you haven't missed out because they're doing i t tomorrow as well. when you purchase a medium or large soft drink, you get a free something-or-other. i don't know what it's called, but i know it's yummy because daddy and i met there today to eat breakfast. can't beat free food!!
Monday, February 25, 2008
dr. busby
so, i diagnosed myself and decided it was time for me to be off of crutches. i was fed up, and i had had enough. i hope i'm not getting myself into trouble by getting off too early, but i'm just impatient. i hope i'm not making it worse, but i'll guess we'll just have to wait and see!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
an email i received awhile back .... i AM proud to be an oklahoman!!
This is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks fromOklahoma (which is celebrating its centennial ). . .
If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and theydon't work there, you may live in Oklahoma .
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you maylive in Oklahoma .
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone whodialed a wrong number, you may live in Oklahoma .
If "vacation" means going anywhere south of Dallas for theweekend, you may live in Oklahoma .
If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Oklahoma .
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once,you may live in Oklahoma .
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Oklahoma .
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Oklahoma .
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Oklahoma .
If you find 60 degrees "a little chilly," you may live inOklahoma .
If you see a tornado warning on the television but don't gettoo awfully excited about it until you actually SEE it coming towardyou, you may live in Oklahoma .
If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to allyour Okie friends & others, you definitely live in Oklahoma . We'ref riendly folks!
Rules of Oklahoma
1. Pull up your droopy pants. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive,you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
3. They are cattle. That's what they smell like to you. Theysmell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes eastand west, & I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.
4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called beingfriendly. Try to understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are comingin, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't haveit up to your ear at the time.
7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi &caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's areligious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women,regardless of age.
10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Ordersteak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds ofham & turkey.
11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes:meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, andPicante Sauce!! Oh, yeah . . .. We don't care what folks inCincinnati call that stuff they eat . . . IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chiliwas born and bred in the West . . . and real chili never met a tomato!
12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet,and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she'dbetter be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
13. College and high school football basketball is importanthere and fun to watch.
14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards-- it spooks the fish.
15. Colleges? Try Oklahoma State University and the Universityof Oklahoma . They come outta there with an education plus a love forGod and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when theycome for the holidays.
16. We have lots of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, andMarines, so "Don't Mess with Oklahoma ." If you do, you will getwhipped by the best.
Oklahoma is the greatest state ever!!
If you do not repost this, you are not a true Okie!!!!! HappyBirthday to us!
If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and theydon't work there, you may live in Oklahoma .
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you maylive in Oklahoma .
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone whodialed a wrong number, you may live in Oklahoma .
If "vacation" means going anywhere south of Dallas for theweekend, you may live in Oklahoma .
If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Oklahoma .
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once,you may live in Oklahoma .
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Oklahoma .
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Oklahoma .
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Oklahoma .
If you find 60 degrees "a little chilly," you may live inOklahoma .
If you see a tornado warning on the television but don't gettoo awfully excited about it until you actually SEE it coming towardyou, you may live in Oklahoma .
If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to allyour Okie friends & others, you definitely live in Oklahoma . We'ref riendly folks!
Rules of Oklahoma
1. Pull up your droopy pants. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive,you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
3. They are cattle. That's what they smell like to you. Theysmell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes eastand west, & I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.
4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called beingfriendly. Try to understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are comingin, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't haveit up to your ear at the time.
7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi &caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's areligious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women,regardless of age.
10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Ordersteak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds ofham & turkey.
11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes:meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, andPicante Sauce!! Oh, yeah . . .. We don't care what folks inCincinnati call that stuff they eat . . . IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chiliwas born and bred in the West . . . and real chili never met a tomato!
12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet,and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she'dbetter be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
13. College and high school football basketball is importanthere and fun to watch.
14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards-- it spooks the fish.
15. Colleges? Try Oklahoma State University and the Universityof Oklahoma . They come outta there with an education plus a love forGod and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when theycome for the holidays.
16. We have lots of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, andMarines, so "Don't Mess with Oklahoma ." If you do, you will getwhipped by the best.
Oklahoma is the greatest state ever!!
If you do not repost this, you are not a true Okie!!!!! HappyBirthday to us!
Friday, February 22, 2008
a tiny taste of army wife life...
we all know them -- families with a spouse in the military. i will be general here and talk about military "wife" life, but i know there are husbands with wives in the military as well.
i have always had a great respect for those families. i think that, not only should the soldier (sailor/SEAL/marine/etc) receive the upmost respect and honor for their sacrifices, but the family should receive thanks as well for the sacrifice they all make. i can't imagine how difficult it must be with a husband on deployoment, but thank you to families everywhere who make that sacrifice daily so i can be free.
keaton is training to be in the army. he is a cadet in the rotc program at florida state university. he is gone this weekend for an ftx (field training exercise). i am so thankful to get a teeny-tiny-itsy-bitsy taste of what life with a husband in the army will be like. i feel almost guilty for even saying that, because i know one weekend with him gone does not compare to the 15-month deployments army faces. but i do feel like easing into is working out great for me. i do not have a military background in my family, so this is the perfect way to learn about army life.
i hope to one day be the best military wife i can be. honestly, i'm excited! i don't WANT to wake by myself every monring or raise a family without my husband there. i don't WANT to not know exactly where my husband is or what he is doing. i don't WANT to have to take care of a house and family by myself. but i will be very honored to say my husband is willing to sacrifice his life for our country's freedom. i will be very proud to count myself among those who are willing to do what it takes for America.
i am grateful for all the wives who have gone before me, from whom i am learning so much about what life in the military is all about. and although i hate having keaton away this weekend in a place where we can't talk on the phone, i know this is helping prepare me to be a better wife to my soldier one day. and that also makes me grateful for our long-distance relationship. with technology these days, many people in the military are able to talk to their families in the states almost daily. so being apart like keat and i have been is awesome training for our relationship on how to cope with deployment if that's what we will face.
so thanks, florida state, for giving keaton the opportunity to live and train there so we can be apart for a bit. thanks for this ftx. thanks for helping me learn what i'm doing here. i know my man will make you proud.
i have always had a great respect for those families. i think that, not only should the soldier (sailor/SEAL/marine/etc) receive the upmost respect and honor for their sacrifices, but the family should receive thanks as well for the sacrifice they all make. i can't imagine how difficult it must be with a husband on deployoment, but thank you to families everywhere who make that sacrifice daily so i can be free.
keaton is training to be in the army. he is a cadet in the rotc program at florida state university. he is gone this weekend for an ftx (field training exercise). i am so thankful to get a teeny-tiny-itsy-bitsy taste of what life with a husband in the army will be like. i feel almost guilty for even saying that, because i know one weekend with him gone does not compare to the 15-month deployments army faces. but i do feel like easing into is working out great for me. i do not have a military background in my family, so this is the perfect way to learn about army life.
i hope to one day be the best military wife i can be. honestly, i'm excited! i don't WANT to wake by myself every monring or raise a family without my husband there. i don't WANT to not know exactly where my husband is or what he is doing. i don't WANT to have to take care of a house and family by myself. but i will be very honored to say my husband is willing to sacrifice his life for our country's freedom. i will be very proud to count myself among those who are willing to do what it takes for America.
i am grateful for all the wives who have gone before me, from whom i am learning so much about what life in the military is all about. and although i hate having keaton away this weekend in a place where we can't talk on the phone, i know this is helping prepare me to be a better wife to my soldier one day. and that also makes me grateful for our long-distance relationship. with technology these days, many people in the military are able to talk to their families in the states almost daily. so being apart like keat and i have been is awesome training for our relationship on how to cope with deployment if that's what we will face.
so thanks, florida state, for giving keaton the opportunity to live and train there so we can be apart for a bit. thanks for this ftx. thanks for helping me learn what i'm doing here. i know my man will make you proud.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
thirteen on thursday
just some random thoughts .......
13. i absolutely LOVE to brush my teeth. i feel so much cleaner after i do. i love to run my tongue over my teeth afterwards because they're so smooth!! i'm a bit of a freak about it ... i have a toothbrush in my house, in my car, and in my purse.
12. when people stay at hotels, why can't they just use a credit card?? come on people, get with the program!! i know it's silly and trivial, but for some reason, i hate taking cash when i'm at work. i think money is grimy and smells funny, so i prefer to keep my hands off of it as much as possible. i wish everyone would just use plastic.
11. i think underwear is the greatest invention ever. i know that sounds weird, but think about it. it adds years to your pants! and helps keep everything neat and clean. underwear is awesome.
10. does anyone else go through phases when it comes to chewing gum? i seem to find i can't live without it for about 3 weeks ... then i chew it hardly at all. hmmm. great mystery of nature, i suppose.
9. i need to go to a movie. i haven't been to a movie theater in a long time. seems i only go when keat is around. my friends and i have such different work schedules we usually don't get to see a movie together.
8. oklahoma can't seem to make up her mind about weather!! one day it's 70 degrees, and the next it's snowing!! it's never dull here, that's for sure!
7. i am absolutely addicted to the tlc show "jon & kate plus 8". i have always been fascinated with large families, especially those with multiples. i find myself watching this show at all hours when i SHOULD be doing so many other things ... like studying, or sleeping.
6. how do i link to other blogs on here? ya'll, i am the WORST person when it come to technology you will ever meet in your life. i don't know how to do anything on here. there are times when i want to link back to another blog, but i don't know how to. i even read blogger's how-to article on links, but it just hurt my brain. can anyone help me?!?
5. i love the book of Ruth in the Bible. she was such a sweetheart and i learn so much from her everytime i read the book.
4. living in prison sounds like one of the scariest things ever. i watched one of those locked-up shows the other day where they take you inside a prison to see what life is really like. i'm sure it's a little dramatized for ratings, but seriously ... that's some scary stuff.
3. i had my first encounter with an iPhone the other day. let me tell you, that little thing is amazing. you can do anything on it!! of course, i only JUST got good at texting on my crappy phone, so i'm not really sure what i would do with one ... but it was pretty nifty!! the guy who sits next to me in microeconomics just got one and was having me read an article he had found. i was pretty fascinated with the little gadget. but i don't think i'd be able to handle one myself.
2. i think naming your children is one of the most important jobs you have as a parent. i want all of my children's names to MEAN something. i want them to ber personal and unique. and i want my children to absolutely love their names. it's their identity. it helps shape them into who they are. i love learning about names and their origins and meanings.
1. there are some days when i really miss steve irwin. no, i didn't know him pesonally. but i still admired and respected him and was enthralled with his show. i hope he went to heaven so i can meet him one day! i have to admit ... i think i actually cried a little bit on the day he died.
13. i absolutely LOVE to brush my teeth. i feel so much cleaner after i do. i love to run my tongue over my teeth afterwards because they're so smooth!! i'm a bit of a freak about it ... i have a toothbrush in my house, in my car, and in my purse.
12. when people stay at hotels, why can't they just use a credit card?? come on people, get with the program!! i know it's silly and trivial, but for some reason, i hate taking cash when i'm at work. i think money is grimy and smells funny, so i prefer to keep my hands off of it as much as possible. i wish everyone would just use plastic.
11. i think underwear is the greatest invention ever. i know that sounds weird, but think about it. it adds years to your pants! and helps keep everything neat and clean. underwear is awesome.
10. does anyone else go through phases when it comes to chewing gum? i seem to find i can't live without it for about 3 weeks ... then i chew it hardly at all. hmmm. great mystery of nature, i suppose.
9. i need to go to a movie. i haven't been to a movie theater in a long time. seems i only go when keat is around. my friends and i have such different work schedules we usually don't get to see a movie together.
8. oklahoma can't seem to make up her mind about weather!! one day it's 70 degrees, and the next it's snowing!! it's never dull here, that's for sure!
7. i am absolutely addicted to the tlc show "jon & kate plus 8". i have always been fascinated with large families, especially those with multiples. i find myself watching this show at all hours when i SHOULD be doing so many other things ... like studying, or sleeping.
6. how do i link to other blogs on here? ya'll, i am the WORST person when it come to technology you will ever meet in your life. i don't know how to do anything on here. there are times when i want to link back to another blog, but i don't know how to. i even read blogger's how-to article on links, but it just hurt my brain. can anyone help me?!?
5. i love the book of Ruth in the Bible. she was such a sweetheart and i learn so much from her everytime i read the book.
4. living in prison sounds like one of the scariest things ever. i watched one of those locked-up shows the other day where they take you inside a prison to see what life is really like. i'm sure it's a little dramatized for ratings, but seriously ... that's some scary stuff.
3. i had my first encounter with an iPhone the other day. let me tell you, that little thing is amazing. you can do anything on it!! of course, i only JUST got good at texting on my crappy phone, so i'm not really sure what i would do with one ... but it was pretty nifty!! the guy who sits next to me in microeconomics just got one and was having me read an article he had found. i was pretty fascinated with the little gadget. but i don't think i'd be able to handle one myself.
2. i think naming your children is one of the most important jobs you have as a parent. i want all of my children's names to MEAN something. i want them to ber personal and unique. and i want my children to absolutely love their names. it's their identity. it helps shape them into who they are. i love learning about names and their origins and meanings.
1. there are some days when i really miss steve irwin. no, i didn't know him pesonally. but i still admired and respected him and was enthralled with his show. i hope he went to heaven so i can meet him one day! i have to admit ... i think i actually cried a little bit on the day he died.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
the business of misery
have you heard that new song? the one that talks about being in the business of misery?? i would give credit where credit is due as far as title and artist ... but i have no idea who it is and really don't care enough to go look it up ...
anyway, i heard the song the other day. and something hit me. hard.
in today's day and age, a lot of people ARE in the business of misery. there are people who tend to see the negative in everything. instead of trying to find ways for things to be done, they only see how things cannot be done. they have become very passive about things that aren't going well in their lives. rather than correct these things and make life more enjoyable, they choose instead to wallow in misery. and what really gets me is that they seem to almost ENJOY it. i'm not talking about people who have a bad day. and i'm not talking about people who are depressed. i'm talking about the people in between. who tend to have a lot of bad days and who are likely on the road to becoming depressed.
my heart aches for these people. it is so much more fun to see the good things in life. what else is there to enjoy but life?!? i wish there was some way for me to help people like this ... but the truth is, i think it all comes from within. the first thing that must change is attitude and perception. without taking the initiative to see things in a positive light, it is likely a person will continue to see only negative. it's not something you can learn ... it's a choice from the heart.
anyway ... when i heard that song, this is what i realized: i've been starting my own little business of misery. i think i used to tend to see things in a positve light. but ... i've been slowly drifting to the other end of the spectrum. and i don't like it at all.
up until about a year ago, my mother would always say "kara, you are TOO optimisitc!! it's gonna get you in trouble one day! and you should get stressed out more ... it'll help you get more things done!" i know she was joking, and i would always laugh. but secretly, inside, i liked that. i enjoy being known as a typically happy, positive person.
i realized that i have not heard my mom say that for a very long time. because i have not been overly happy or positive. i'm not by any means depressed or sad, but i no longer go out of my way to brighten up people's days.
i suppose i just got busy. between going to school full-time and working several different jobs, i think i've started to take life too seriously. life is way to short to not be enjoyed to the FULLEST.
i know this is starting to wear on keaton a bit as well. i have been negative about our relationship. rather than delight in it as i used to, i have been down in the dumps about being long-distance. sure, it is very difficult to maintain a solid relationship when you live four states away, but it is nothing that cannot be done. we've done it before! so why on earth am i alienating the one i love more than anything in the world simply because we don't live in the same state? that is ridiculous. rather than build him up, as you should in a relationship, i have been bringing him down and making him feel guilty for something we are going through by no fault of his.
i challenged myself that day i heard the song about the business of misery. and today, i am going to challenge every single one of you (3 people who read my blog! ;) as well. here is the challenge:
I CHALLENGE YOU TO IMPROVE THE LIFE OF EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU COME INTO CONTACT WITH ON A DAILY BASIS.
i'm talking EVERYone. from the person who cuts you off on the road to the person who bags your groceries. from the ones you love and care for to strangers you meet on the street. try to do what you can to improve every single person's day. and by all means, SMILE!! trust me, it will make you a much happier person. it will bring you joy and make you feel good about yourself. and it will train you to be a much more positive-thinking person, much more optimistic.
and i guarentee you it will improve your relationships! nothing will make you a happier person than this!!
smile!!!
anyway, i heard the song the other day. and something hit me. hard.
in today's day and age, a lot of people ARE in the business of misery. there are people who tend to see the negative in everything. instead of trying to find ways for things to be done, they only see how things cannot be done. they have become very passive about things that aren't going well in their lives. rather than correct these things and make life more enjoyable, they choose instead to wallow in misery. and what really gets me is that they seem to almost ENJOY it. i'm not talking about people who have a bad day. and i'm not talking about people who are depressed. i'm talking about the people in between. who tend to have a lot of bad days and who are likely on the road to becoming depressed.
my heart aches for these people. it is so much more fun to see the good things in life. what else is there to enjoy but life?!? i wish there was some way for me to help people like this ... but the truth is, i think it all comes from within. the first thing that must change is attitude and perception. without taking the initiative to see things in a positive light, it is likely a person will continue to see only negative. it's not something you can learn ... it's a choice from the heart.
anyway ... when i heard that song, this is what i realized: i've been starting my own little business of misery. i think i used to tend to see things in a positve light. but ... i've been slowly drifting to the other end of the spectrum. and i don't like it at all.
up until about a year ago, my mother would always say "kara, you are TOO optimisitc!! it's gonna get you in trouble one day! and you should get stressed out more ... it'll help you get more things done!" i know she was joking, and i would always laugh. but secretly, inside, i liked that. i enjoy being known as a typically happy, positive person.
i realized that i have not heard my mom say that for a very long time. because i have not been overly happy or positive. i'm not by any means depressed or sad, but i no longer go out of my way to brighten up people's days.
i suppose i just got busy. between going to school full-time and working several different jobs, i think i've started to take life too seriously. life is way to short to not be enjoyed to the FULLEST.
i know this is starting to wear on keaton a bit as well. i have been negative about our relationship. rather than delight in it as i used to, i have been down in the dumps about being long-distance. sure, it is very difficult to maintain a solid relationship when you live four states away, but it is nothing that cannot be done. we've done it before! so why on earth am i alienating the one i love more than anything in the world simply because we don't live in the same state? that is ridiculous. rather than build him up, as you should in a relationship, i have been bringing him down and making him feel guilty for something we are going through by no fault of his.
i challenged myself that day i heard the song about the business of misery. and today, i am going to challenge every single one of you (3 people who read my blog! ;) as well. here is the challenge:
I CHALLENGE YOU TO IMPROVE THE LIFE OF EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU COME INTO CONTACT WITH ON A DAILY BASIS.
i'm talking EVERYone. from the person who cuts you off on the road to the person who bags your groceries. from the ones you love and care for to strangers you meet on the street. try to do what you can to improve every single person's day. and by all means, SMILE!! trust me, it will make you a much happier person. it will bring you joy and make you feel good about yourself. and it will train you to be a much more positive-thinking person, much more optimistic.
and i guarentee you it will improve your relationships! nothing will make you a happier person than this!!
smile!!!
Monday, February 18, 2008
time for a beauty check-up!
it's time for me to break out the self-tanning lotion and hair straightener. time to find my perfume and re-discover how to neatly and corretly apply make-up. time to pluck my eyebrows and begin using my crest white strips. time to do laundry and paint my toenails. time to start eating healthy and toning to lose that last five pounds. time for a haircut and color touch-up! time to begin at-home facials and masks, actually break out a razor, and keep up with my appearance. because ....
KEATON IS COMING TO OKLAHOMA!! he'll be here over his spring break, the first week of march. i am so excited! i can't WAIT!!
so now i am rushing trying to make sure i look presentable!! not that he really cares that much ... he just likes being together. i know a lot of guys say appearance doesn't matter to them, but deep down, they really do care a lot about it. not that i blame them, it's their nature. but that is one thing i totally admire and respect about keaton jack mitts zerby. appearance NEVER changes the way he thinks of me. he has seen me at my WORST moments ... and yet he still loves me.
he's seen me when i was sick with some crazy virus that caused me to have crazy hallucinations and say weird things and look wild-eyed and crazy ..... and he still loves me.
he's seen me when i had amnesia and remembered only a little music and hardly any people or places ..... and he still loves me.
he's seen me when i've had cramps and nausea beore my period ..... and he still loves me.
he's seen me throw up and be sick and lay moaning miserably, unable to keep any food down ..... and he still loves me ... he even held my hair for me and wiped my forehead with a damp cloth!!!
he's seen me when i've overslept and answer the door in my pj's with my hair all dishelved, no make-up or contacts, and looking very unaware of my surroundings ..... and he still loves me.
he's seen when i wake up after a night terror and am hysterical and unable to recover control of myself ..... and he still loves me.
he's seen when i'm pouting or angry or upset ..... and he still loves me.
if he can still love me after all these things ... i know appearance is not what is most important to my love. i adore how keaton loves me. it's such a picture of Christ's love. no matter what, i receive the love unconditionally.
keaton has seen me in some of my worst stages ever, but for some reason, he's still around. he always make me feel beautiful, whether i'm in sweat pants and a t-shirt or a ballroom gown with my hair all done up. no matter what i'm wearing, or how my hair is fixed (or maybe not fixed at all) or what amount of make-up i have on, keaton still looks at me like i'm the most beautiful woman in the world. because i know to him, i truly am.
even though keaton loves me unconditionally and does not care if i am dressed up or down, i still enjoy looking my best for him. i know he will love me and stay with me no matter what, but i like taking the time to make myself look good when i know i will be with him. it's just a little way to show him respect. i respect his love so much, i want to take extra time to take care of myself and make sure i look good for him, whether he cares or not.
i don't usually take the time to look great with keaton living in florida and me living here. heck, i don't even usually shave my legs!! (eww, i know it's gross) but since my baby is coming home, i can't wait to start looking good again!!
KEATON IS COMING TO OKLAHOMA!! he'll be here over his spring break, the first week of march. i am so excited! i can't WAIT!!
so now i am rushing trying to make sure i look presentable!! not that he really cares that much ... he just likes being together. i know a lot of guys say appearance doesn't matter to them, but deep down, they really do care a lot about it. not that i blame them, it's their nature. but that is one thing i totally admire and respect about keaton jack mitts zerby. appearance NEVER changes the way he thinks of me. he has seen me at my WORST moments ... and yet he still loves me.
he's seen me when i was sick with some crazy virus that caused me to have crazy hallucinations and say weird things and look wild-eyed and crazy ..... and he still loves me.
he's seen me when i had amnesia and remembered only a little music and hardly any people or places ..... and he still loves me.
he's seen me when i've had cramps and nausea beore my period ..... and he still loves me.
he's seen me throw up and be sick and lay moaning miserably, unable to keep any food down ..... and he still loves me ... he even held my hair for me and wiped my forehead with a damp cloth!!!
he's seen me when i've overslept and answer the door in my pj's with my hair all dishelved, no make-up or contacts, and looking very unaware of my surroundings ..... and he still loves me.
he's seen when i wake up after a night terror and am hysterical and unable to recover control of myself ..... and he still loves me.
he's seen when i'm pouting or angry or upset ..... and he still loves me.
if he can still love me after all these things ... i know appearance is not what is most important to my love. i adore how keaton loves me. it's such a picture of Christ's love. no matter what, i receive the love unconditionally.
keaton has seen me in some of my worst stages ever, but for some reason, he's still around. he always make me feel beautiful, whether i'm in sweat pants and a t-shirt or a ballroom gown with my hair all done up. no matter what i'm wearing, or how my hair is fixed (or maybe not fixed at all) or what amount of make-up i have on, keaton still looks at me like i'm the most beautiful woman in the world. because i know to him, i truly am.
even though keaton loves me unconditionally and does not care if i am dressed up or down, i still enjoy looking my best for him. i know he will love me and stay with me no matter what, but i like taking the time to make myself look good when i know i will be with him. it's just a little way to show him respect. i respect his love so much, i want to take extra time to take care of myself and make sure i look good for him, whether he cares or not.
i don't usually take the time to look great with keaton living in florida and me living here. heck, i don't even usually shave my legs!! (eww, i know it's gross) but since my baby is coming home, i can't wait to start looking good again!!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
the extremes of not being racist
what african-americans went through as slaves was horrific. no way around it. white men were cruel beasts and no human should have ever lived through what slaves were forced to live through.
but come on, people. the civil war ended that decades ago. now america has taken being anti-discriminatory to an insane level, thanks to the media and democrats.
when is the last time you saw a "miss white so-and-so" pageant? umm probably NEVER if youre still alive today and young enough to even know what a blog is. yet there are "miss black" pageants everywhere. that is discriminating. the very thing about which african-americans were angry at white people. the discrimination is going the other way.
don't get me wrong, i don't feel discriminated against. and i have white skin. i'm not trying to say "poor us, we are being excluded from blah-blah-blah". i just don't understand why it is acceptable to society to have all-black functions, clubs, and events, but you could get in trouble with the law if you held an all-white event. are not these all-black organizations going against what america stands for? equality for everybody and exclusion of none? i don't understand how they get away with it.
my main pet peeve on this subject is when an african-american claims they are being discriminated against on the job when it is actually their own poor performance. many companies waste money keeping people on staff who are not performing their job simply so they will not be accused of discriminating. in some cases, knowing they cannot be fired for this reason can make for lazy employees.
now i am speaking very, very generally here. i know for the most part, black people and white people treat each other the same. as it should be. and i know true discrimination still does exist. and that breaks my heart. any time i hear of a true story how someone is physically or mentally abused because of the color of their skin, my eyes well up with tears and i just can't take it.
but i am not talking about those cases here. i'll save that for another post. i'm talking about the people who exclude white people from schools, pageants, events, etc. that, too, is going against american belief and is just as wrong as discrimination against blacks. society has OVERcompensated for what happened in our ugly past. instead of having all-black schools, organizations, and events or all-white or all-hispanic or all-german or whatever schools, organizations, and events, we should have: schools. organizations. events. etc. that's it. no adjectives describing who may or may not participate.
after all, skin color is just that -- a color. it doesn't deny anyone the privilege of being what we ALL are -- human beings. thank God for different colors! without them, the world would be a very boring place. but let's not lose sight of the fact that we are all equal humans. and that should be the ONLY thing that matters. to whites and blacks alike.
but come on, people. the civil war ended that decades ago. now america has taken being anti-discriminatory to an insane level, thanks to the media and democrats.
when is the last time you saw a "miss white so-and-so" pageant? umm probably NEVER if youre still alive today and young enough to even know what a blog is. yet there are "miss black" pageants everywhere. that is discriminating. the very thing about which african-americans were angry at white people. the discrimination is going the other way.
don't get me wrong, i don't feel discriminated against. and i have white skin. i'm not trying to say "poor us, we are being excluded from blah-blah-blah". i just don't understand why it is acceptable to society to have all-black functions, clubs, and events, but you could get in trouble with the law if you held an all-white event. are not these all-black organizations going against what america stands for? equality for everybody and exclusion of none? i don't understand how they get away with it.
my main pet peeve on this subject is when an african-american claims they are being discriminated against on the job when it is actually their own poor performance. many companies waste money keeping people on staff who are not performing their job simply so they will not be accused of discriminating. in some cases, knowing they cannot be fired for this reason can make for lazy employees.
now i am speaking very, very generally here. i know for the most part, black people and white people treat each other the same. as it should be. and i know true discrimination still does exist. and that breaks my heart. any time i hear of a true story how someone is physically or mentally abused because of the color of their skin, my eyes well up with tears and i just can't take it.
but i am not talking about those cases here. i'll save that for another post. i'm talking about the people who exclude white people from schools, pageants, events, etc. that, too, is going against american belief and is just as wrong as discrimination against blacks. society has OVERcompensated for what happened in our ugly past. instead of having all-black schools, organizations, and events or all-white or all-hispanic or all-german or whatever schools, organizations, and events, we should have: schools. organizations. events. etc. that's it. no adjectives describing who may or may not participate.
after all, skin color is just that -- a color. it doesn't deny anyone the privilege of being what we ALL are -- human beings. thank God for different colors! without them, the world would be a very boring place. but let's not lose sight of the fact that we are all equal humans. and that should be the ONLY thing that matters. to whites and blacks alike.
Friday, February 15, 2008
steroids in baseball
my opinion may be a bit simplistic. but, for what's it worth, here it is ...
if our country is in the middle of a war, and illegal immigration is at an all-time high, and child abuse is rampant ....
WHY ON EARTH DO WE HAVE A GRAND JURY AND A CONGRESSIONAL COMMITTEE SPENDING EVERY WAKING MOMENT LOOKING AT STEROIDS IN BASEBALL?!?!?!?
the government needs to get back where it belongs. leave baseball to bud selig and the major league organization. that's what they're good at. and let congress get back to what it's good at.
the government needs to keep its nose out of baseball's business. if that's the best use of our government's time and taxpayer dollars, this is a very sick country.
if our country is in the middle of a war, and illegal immigration is at an all-time high, and child abuse is rampant ....
WHY ON EARTH DO WE HAVE A GRAND JURY AND A CONGRESSIONAL COMMITTEE SPENDING EVERY WAKING MOMENT LOOKING AT STEROIDS IN BASEBALL?!?!?!?
the government needs to get back where it belongs. leave baseball to bud selig and the major league organization. that's what they're good at. and let congress get back to what it's good at.
the government needs to keep its nose out of baseball's business. if that's the best use of our government's time and taxpayer dollars, this is a very sick country.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
what a day!
well as always, things have to be crazy to be my life. i don't know how i would function without bizzare things occuring everyday to keep me amused. the last 48 hours have been no exception.
tuesday started rather normally. i had class that day until 3. after coming home and doing some homework, i left again to go pick up a girl for a private lesson. i brought her back to my house and we worked for about an hour and half, then we went to starbucks and met her grandma and i came home. my dad has been sick for a couple of days, i think he's catching the flu stuff that's going around, so i've been trying to steer clear of him.
well tuesday night i was doing some heavy studying for my spanish test the next day. suddenly it hit me - i had YET to send keaton's valentine's day gift. yikes! i told you i'm bad at this stuff. i started looking for a box and couldn't find anything. usually i have boxes all over the place so i can send little care packages to keaton. but i guess i've used them all cause i've got nothin'. so i made a note in my calendar to go buy a box on wednesday (i HATE buying boxes. it seems like such a waste when you can buy something IN a box and then just re-use the box. but i had no need to buy anything that came in a box ... so i was going to give in and just buy a box. a stupid, empty box.)
i was stinky from the private lesson, so i took a shower before i got in bed. apparently, i was messy when i got out and let water drip on the floor. because when i walked back in the bathroom to hang up my towel ...
WHAM!!
BAM!!
CRUNCH!!
UGH!!
OOF!!
i slipped on the water on the tile floor. my feet just slid right out from underneath me. i really wish i could have seen it because it felt really funny! i basically richoched off of everything in the bathroom, like a ball in a pin machine. i was laughing hysterically. you know, one of those things that hurts so bad you just laugh to keep from crying.
i'm a big klutz and i fall all the time, so i tried to just hop up and keep going. but i couldn't put any weight on my left foot. i went ahead and elevated it and put ice on it that night.
i can't stand to go to the doctor, i guess i think it makes me not tough or something, i don't know ... but i refuse to go if at all possible. but the next morning when i woke and my left ankle was about 4 times as big as my right and all bruised up, i decided to go ahead and give the doc a call. i asked them to just call in some xrays for me, which they did. so after my first two classes (which i had to hobble to on crutches) i went to the radiologist to have my ankle xrayed. then it was back to school for my spanish test.
i had COMPLETELY forgotten about keaton's package, what with going between the doctor and class and all. but when i got home that day, there was a package on the front porch from keaton!! it made me so happy! he's such a sweetie! he usually likes me to wait until the actual day we're celebrating to open his gifts, even if they get there early. but ... i needed the box.
yes, i know, i'm absolutely horrible. i opened his valentine's gift early so i could take the box it came in, pack his stuff in it, re-address it, and ship it right back to tallahassee.
i had just finished packing the box and was taping it up when the cat jumped up on the table. perfect timing. i basically taped his super fluffy tail to the box. i swear, i must have the stickiest packing tape on the planet, and trying to hold down a feisty "teenage" cat who is scratching and biting and trying to gently free his tail hairs loose from this tape is NOT an easy feat!! especially when you're trying to balance on one leg and you're laughing your bum off!
once the cat was finally free, i took keaton's box to the post office and had it overnighted (which of course came with a fee ... why can't i just do this stuff in advance?!? is it really that difficult?) so he should be getting it sometime today! yay!! happy valentine's day, baby!
later i got a call from the doc. my ankle will be fine, it's just fractured. i'm supposed to use crutches for 3-5 weeks and ice and elevate everyday until the swelling's down. then i'm supposed to wrap it daily and it should be good as new in 6-8 weeks. he decided not to cast it because it was a hairline fracture and it had already been so long that if it wasn't perfectly in line, he would have to break it. he knows i would refuse to do that, so he said just wrapping it is fine.
so say hi the next time you see me on campus, on the front desk at the hampton inn, or attempting to teach a dance class on one leg. i'll be the one with swollen armpits (from the silly crutches) hobbling around with one leg up looking like an idiot. yep, that's me.
of course, to end on a positive note, there are a lot of good things about all this. the cat's tail is a little bit thinner now. it was my left ankle that was injured, which means i can still drive! and i think keaton's valentine's day gift will actually make it on valentine's day!!
happy valentine's day everyone!
tuesday started rather normally. i had class that day until 3. after coming home and doing some homework, i left again to go pick up a girl for a private lesson. i brought her back to my house and we worked for about an hour and half, then we went to starbucks and met her grandma and i came home. my dad has been sick for a couple of days, i think he's catching the flu stuff that's going around, so i've been trying to steer clear of him.
well tuesday night i was doing some heavy studying for my spanish test the next day. suddenly it hit me - i had YET to send keaton's valentine's day gift. yikes! i told you i'm bad at this stuff. i started looking for a box and couldn't find anything. usually i have boxes all over the place so i can send little care packages to keaton. but i guess i've used them all cause i've got nothin'. so i made a note in my calendar to go buy a box on wednesday (i HATE buying boxes. it seems like such a waste when you can buy something IN a box and then just re-use the box. but i had no need to buy anything that came in a box ... so i was going to give in and just buy a box. a stupid, empty box.)
i was stinky from the private lesson, so i took a shower before i got in bed. apparently, i was messy when i got out and let water drip on the floor. because when i walked back in the bathroom to hang up my towel ...
WHAM!!
BAM!!
CRUNCH!!
UGH!!
OOF!!
i slipped on the water on the tile floor. my feet just slid right out from underneath me. i really wish i could have seen it because it felt really funny! i basically richoched off of everything in the bathroom, like a ball in a pin machine. i was laughing hysterically. you know, one of those things that hurts so bad you just laugh to keep from crying.
i'm a big klutz and i fall all the time, so i tried to just hop up and keep going. but i couldn't put any weight on my left foot. i went ahead and elevated it and put ice on it that night.
i can't stand to go to the doctor, i guess i think it makes me not tough or something, i don't know ... but i refuse to go if at all possible. but the next morning when i woke and my left ankle was about 4 times as big as my right and all bruised up, i decided to go ahead and give the doc a call. i asked them to just call in some xrays for me, which they did. so after my first two classes (which i had to hobble to on crutches) i went to the radiologist to have my ankle xrayed. then it was back to school for my spanish test.
i had COMPLETELY forgotten about keaton's package, what with going between the doctor and class and all. but when i got home that day, there was a package on the front porch from keaton!! it made me so happy! he's such a sweetie! he usually likes me to wait until the actual day we're celebrating to open his gifts, even if they get there early. but ... i needed the box.
yes, i know, i'm absolutely horrible. i opened his valentine's gift early so i could take the box it came in, pack his stuff in it, re-address it, and ship it right back to tallahassee.
i had just finished packing the box and was taping it up when the cat jumped up on the table. perfect timing. i basically taped his super fluffy tail to the box. i swear, i must have the stickiest packing tape on the planet, and trying to hold down a feisty "teenage" cat who is scratching and biting and trying to gently free his tail hairs loose from this tape is NOT an easy feat!! especially when you're trying to balance on one leg and you're laughing your bum off!
once the cat was finally free, i took keaton's box to the post office and had it overnighted (which of course came with a fee ... why can't i just do this stuff in advance?!? is it really that difficult?) so he should be getting it sometime today! yay!! happy valentine's day, baby!
later i got a call from the doc. my ankle will be fine, it's just fractured. i'm supposed to use crutches for 3-5 weeks and ice and elevate everyday until the swelling's down. then i'm supposed to wrap it daily and it should be good as new in 6-8 weeks. he decided not to cast it because it was a hairline fracture and it had already been so long that if it wasn't perfectly in line, he would have to break it. he knows i would refuse to do that, so he said just wrapping it is fine.
so say hi the next time you see me on campus, on the front desk at the hampton inn, or attempting to teach a dance class on one leg. i'll be the one with swollen armpits (from the silly crutches) hobbling around with one leg up looking like an idiot. yep, that's me.
of course, to end on a positive note, there are a lot of good things about all this. the cat's tail is a little bit thinner now. it was my left ankle that was injured, which means i can still drive! and i think keaton's valentine's day gift will actually make it on valentine's day!!
happy valentine's day everyone!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
from the mouths of babes ...
i babysat for this family sunday night whose kids i absolutely LOVE! they have 4 boys, which is exactly what i want to have, and every time i am there i am reminded why i love little boys so much.
the youngest two (5 and 6) were playing a star wars game on wii and all of a sudden a bunch of droids (i think that's what they were ... i'm not really sure) came out of nowhere and began attacking. the two boys were on the "good guy" team and had to fight them off. when the huge crowd of enemies began to rush them, the six-year-old started saying "oh no! stampede! stampede!"
the youngest, not entirely able to understand his brother's excited shoutings joined in:
"yeah! i stand to pee, too! i stand to pee!"
boys ... gotta love 'em!
he NEVER opens his eyes, even a little bit. he would rather run around for 5 minutes without being able to tag anyone than cheat. sure, he gets a little frustutrated, but never so much that i've seen him cheat at this game. i wish i always played by the rules as much as he does.
and the oldest one, he has soo much patience when it comes to getting homework done. sure, it doesn't help that he wasn't allowed to play his "pirates of the caribbean" game on the computer until it was done. but still. he had been sick for two weeks and out of school, so he had TONS of make up work to do. he was down to the last few assignments and trust me, this was NOT fun homework! i do not want to go back to 4th grade! it was really challenging stuff.
but even though his brothers were all playing and having fun in the next room, he just sat there and focused until everything was done. man, if i could only do that with my homework ...
the next to oldest boy is soo creative. they have a set of those colored magnet shapes and he's always creating new stuff with them. it is so great to see his mind at work. i can tell the wheels are always turning in his head.
and the next to youngest, he has the cutest voice ever. and he is so sweet, he always lets the little one tag along on whatever he's doing. most big brothers would get annoyed by little brother always trying to do what they're doing. but not this guy. he always patiently explains stuff and helps the youngest try stuff out.
i love working with children. it is so great to be able to see their little personalities show through and the differences in the way they think about things. it is exhillerating to me to see their minds at work. God made them each unique and their hearts are so beautiful. i love getting to be a part of their lives and i can't wait to see the men they are becoming!
the youngest two (5 and 6) were playing a star wars game on wii and all of a sudden a bunch of droids (i think that's what they were ... i'm not really sure) came out of nowhere and began attacking. the two boys were on the "good guy" team and had to fight them off. when the huge crowd of enemies began to rush them, the six-year-old started saying "oh no! stampede! stampede!"
the youngest, not entirely able to understand his brother's excited shoutings joined in:
"yeah! i stand to pee, too! i stand to pee!"
boys ... gotta love 'em!
i always learn so much from these boys when i am there. sure, they are energetic and crazy and sometimes a bit ornery, but they are the sweetest kids, and i love seeing their hearts. the youngest is probably the most honest little kid i'ver met in my life. we were playing "dead man's grave" on the trampoline. one person lays in the middle with their eyes closed and everyone else jumps around them. then the one in the middle has to move around with their eyes closed until they tag someone to become the new "dead man".
you know this type of game. the one that, when you were younger, you would always try to play correctly, without cheating. you would close your eyes as tightly as you could but then, after about 30 seconds of not being able to find anyone, your eyes would start opening ever so slightly, just squinting, so you could make out shapes and be able to tag someone. i think everyone's done it, squinted their eyes during an "eyes closed" game in order to tag someone. everyone, that is, except this little boy.he NEVER opens his eyes, even a little bit. he would rather run around for 5 minutes without being able to tag anyone than cheat. sure, he gets a little frustutrated, but never so much that i've seen him cheat at this game. i wish i always played by the rules as much as he does.
and the oldest one, he has soo much patience when it comes to getting homework done. sure, it doesn't help that he wasn't allowed to play his "pirates of the caribbean" game on the computer until it was done. but still. he had been sick for two weeks and out of school, so he had TONS of make up work to do. he was down to the last few assignments and trust me, this was NOT fun homework! i do not want to go back to 4th grade! it was really challenging stuff.
but even though his brothers were all playing and having fun in the next room, he just sat there and focused until everything was done. man, if i could only do that with my homework ...
the next to oldest boy is soo creative. they have a set of those colored magnet shapes and he's always creating new stuff with them. it is so great to see his mind at work. i can tell the wheels are always turning in his head.
and the next to youngest, he has the cutest voice ever. and he is so sweet, he always lets the little one tag along on whatever he's doing. most big brothers would get annoyed by little brother always trying to do what they're doing. but not this guy. he always patiently explains stuff and helps the youngest try stuff out.
i love working with children. it is so great to be able to see their little personalities show through and the differences in the way they think about things. it is exhillerating to me to see their minds at work. God made them each unique and their hearts are so beautiful. i love getting to be a part of their lives and i can't wait to see the men they are becoming!
Sunday, February 10, 2008
i am SUCH a bad girl
no, not that kind. get your mind out of the gutter. (honestly, i didn't even realize what that sounded like until i re-read it ... and then i thought it was funny, so i left it!)
what i mean is, i don't know how to be a girly-girl. sure, i wear make-up and like to straighten my hair and even wear a cute skirt on occasion. but ... i know, i know, i'm a disgrace to all womanhood ... i don't really care for valentine's day.
sure, it's nice to feel appreciated and loved, but keaton makes me feel like that everyday. and i ALWAYS forget about important holidays like valentine's day and anniversaries. birthdays, no problem, i can remember numbers. but sweet little celebrations like that, and my brain just can't seem to get it. keaton ALWAYS has to remind me.
just the other day we were talking on the phone and he said, "hey, i got you something today!" i cooed "aww, how sweet! what for? cause i'm wonderful?" and he said "well yes ... and for valentine's day."
my heart plummeted, my stomach started churning, and i broke out into a cold sweat because, while i couldn't remember the date on which this wonderful day falls, i knew i had not planned for it. well, i didn't really have those symptoms. because i don't really get into all that stuff, but it made for a dramatic effect. all i could think was "crud ... i forgot again ..."
i've never actually forgotten to GET him something for vday, anniversary, etc. but i always have to be reminded, it's sometimes late, and i always have to pay the price! last year, the day before st. patrick's day (which is our anniversary) i was scouring the internet at 11:30 pm looking for a place that would deliver balloons the very next day. and i had to pay a hefty last-minute fee or whatever they called it. it really doesn't pay to be so forgetful. and i think last year, even though i sent him something for v-day, like 4 days before the big day, it didn't even get there until 2 days after ... stupid postal service. so technically, i guess that doesn't count as being a good girlfriend on valentine's day.
now, for most couples, this wouldn't really be an issue. because my guy would never have to remember important dates and would never get in trouble for forgetting a card or a special note to celebrate such-and-such that most women go ga-ga over. but the trouble is ... i think keaton actually LIKES these holidays. it's weird, like that particular "celebration" gene was switched in us. i think he cares more about those holidays than i do, so I'M the one who gets in trouble and feels bad for forgetting! i'm such a man when it comes to stuff like this. who would've thought that the man i'd fall in love with would be the one man on earth who actually DOES remember the important stuff?!? i know, i know, i'm lucky to have a romantic guy, but it sure does put a lot of pressure on me ... lol
in a way i kind of feel sorry for the guy. he probably feels like he puts forth more effort than i do ... and you know, he's probably right. and it really can't be easy for him. as if all you women out there didn't hate me enough by now, i will now admit something even worse ... i don't really like chocolate. it just doesn't appeal to me the way skittles or starburst do. so keaton can't even get me the typical valentine's day gift! he really has to think outside the box for a gift for me ... AND he has to remind me what holidays are coming up so i remember to get HIM something. i am so pathetic.
well this year, thank goodness, keaton reminded me in plenty of time. i actually went shopping the day he told me and picked up a few things to send him for the silly day of love. hopefully, they will go in the mail tomorrow, if i have time to run to the post office between classes and work. otherwise, it'll go out tomorrow and be late ... again.
valentine's day IS the 14th, right?
what i mean is, i don't know how to be a girly-girl. sure, i wear make-up and like to straighten my hair and even wear a cute skirt on occasion. but ... i know, i know, i'm a disgrace to all womanhood ... i don't really care for valentine's day.
sure, it's nice to feel appreciated and loved, but keaton makes me feel like that everyday. and i ALWAYS forget about important holidays like valentine's day and anniversaries. birthdays, no problem, i can remember numbers. but sweet little celebrations like that, and my brain just can't seem to get it. keaton ALWAYS has to remind me.
just the other day we were talking on the phone and he said, "hey, i got you something today!" i cooed "aww, how sweet! what for? cause i'm wonderful?" and he said "well yes ... and for valentine's day."
my heart plummeted, my stomach started churning, and i broke out into a cold sweat because, while i couldn't remember the date on which this wonderful day falls, i knew i had not planned for it. well, i didn't really have those symptoms. because i don't really get into all that stuff, but it made for a dramatic effect. all i could think was "crud ... i forgot again ..."
i've never actually forgotten to GET him something for vday, anniversary, etc. but i always have to be reminded, it's sometimes late, and i always have to pay the price! last year, the day before st. patrick's day (which is our anniversary) i was scouring the internet at 11:30 pm looking for a place that would deliver balloons the very next day. and i had to pay a hefty last-minute fee or whatever they called it. it really doesn't pay to be so forgetful. and i think last year, even though i sent him something for v-day, like 4 days before the big day, it didn't even get there until 2 days after ... stupid postal service. so technically, i guess that doesn't count as being a good girlfriend on valentine's day.
now, for most couples, this wouldn't really be an issue. because my guy would never have to remember important dates and would never get in trouble for forgetting a card or a special note to celebrate such-and-such that most women go ga-ga over. but the trouble is ... i think keaton actually LIKES these holidays. it's weird, like that particular "celebration" gene was switched in us. i think he cares more about those holidays than i do, so I'M the one who gets in trouble and feels bad for forgetting! i'm such a man when it comes to stuff like this. who would've thought that the man i'd fall in love with would be the one man on earth who actually DOES remember the important stuff?!? i know, i know, i'm lucky to have a romantic guy, but it sure does put a lot of pressure on me ... lol
in a way i kind of feel sorry for the guy. he probably feels like he puts forth more effort than i do ... and you know, he's probably right. and it really can't be easy for him. as if all you women out there didn't hate me enough by now, i will now admit something even worse ... i don't really like chocolate. it just doesn't appeal to me the way skittles or starburst do. so keaton can't even get me the typical valentine's day gift! he really has to think outside the box for a gift for me ... AND he has to remind me what holidays are coming up so i remember to get HIM something. i am so pathetic.
well this year, thank goodness, keaton reminded me in plenty of time. i actually went shopping the day he told me and picked up a few things to send him for the silly day of love. hopefully, they will go in the mail tomorrow, if i have time to run to the post office between classes and work. otherwise, it'll go out tomorrow and be late ... again.
valentine's day IS the 14th, right?
i am getting fat ... *sigh*
well, the verdict is in. i am now a very unhealthy human being.
back in high schoool, when i was at the top of my dance competition career and eating nothing but nutritional food and running 8 gazillion times a week, i looked good. i couldn't help it, i just did. it's hard to not look good when you exercise so much and are a health nut.
i don't know what happened to me.
i looked in the mirror before i got in the shower the other day and burst out laughing. man, i look so bad. i mean, clothes cover it up where others can't necessarily tell, but neked .... ooh boy it was painful to look at!
i don't know what happened to me. i just lost it. i stopped making an effort to remain healthy and look good. but rather than get depressed about it, i'm going to CHANGE it!!!
when i moved to florida for a semeter, i was no longer teaching dance twice a week or practicing at home, so that cut my exercise down. i still tried to run a couple times a week, but since i worked crazy odd hours (aaaand lived in orlando, where there's tons of stuff to do ... aaaand went to the beach every chance i got ... aaaand was always doing stuff with friends ...) that didn't leave a whole lot of time to burn those extra calories.
my roommate and i tried to cook healthy, and we actually did pretty well, but i just love food so gosh darn much! and i continued to eat as much as i always have, even though i was exercising less. it was not a good combination ... and left a very nasty result!
but, as i said, i am not going to sit back and just be upset about the change in my appearance. no, siree! i am determined to look better by the end of Febuary.
luckily, i'm not too far gone yet. i think i'm still salvagable. if i just eat right and start exercising again, i should be okay. since starting to teach dance again, and now three times a week, that takes care of a big portion of the exercise! and since i'm so busy and always on the run, i am going to start packing healthier snack and on-the-go meal options. that's not too hard!!
to me, it's never been an issue of WEIGHT. i've never been one to weigh to myself. i can't even remember the last time i checked my weight at home. the only time i think i've ever been weighed is at the doctor, and i don't even go there often if i can help it. i just base if i need to change off of the way i feel and the way i look. and occasionally how my clothes are fitting. if i am uncomfortable, i figure it's time to change.
it's worked for me so far, because i think of it as a lifestyle. so if i decide i need to "lose weight", to me it's really about changing the way i live. it's my life, and i've only got one of 'em, so i need to take care!! i've also never done a "diet". sure, i HAVE a diet, everyone does, it just describes what you eat. but to me, food is to be enjoyed and savored, not counted and tallied and prohibited. (disclaimer: i'm not saying diets are not good. i know a lot of people use them, and they work for a lot of people. i'm just not one of them. i enjoy me some food waaaay too much for that.)
anyway ... i'm going to make a lifestyle change. whew, it feels good to write that down. i usually do better when i have things written down, it's more concrete that way.
i'll keep you updated on how things go ........
back in high schoool, when i was at the top of my dance competition career and eating nothing but nutritional food and running 8 gazillion times a week, i looked good. i couldn't help it, i just did. it's hard to not look good when you exercise so much and are a health nut.
i don't know what happened to me.
i looked in the mirror before i got in the shower the other day and burst out laughing. man, i look so bad. i mean, clothes cover it up where others can't necessarily tell, but neked .... ooh boy it was painful to look at!
i don't know what happened to me. i just lost it. i stopped making an effort to remain healthy and look good. but rather than get depressed about it, i'm going to CHANGE it!!!
when i moved to florida for a semeter, i was no longer teaching dance twice a week or practicing at home, so that cut my exercise down. i still tried to run a couple times a week, but since i worked crazy odd hours (aaaand lived in orlando, where there's tons of stuff to do ... aaaand went to the beach every chance i got ... aaaand was always doing stuff with friends ...) that didn't leave a whole lot of time to burn those extra calories.
my roommate and i tried to cook healthy, and we actually did pretty well, but i just love food so gosh darn much! and i continued to eat as much as i always have, even though i was exercising less. it was not a good combination ... and left a very nasty result!
but, as i said, i am not going to sit back and just be upset about the change in my appearance. no, siree! i am determined to look better by the end of Febuary.
luckily, i'm not too far gone yet. i think i'm still salvagable. if i just eat right and start exercising again, i should be okay. since starting to teach dance again, and now three times a week, that takes care of a big portion of the exercise! and since i'm so busy and always on the run, i am going to start packing healthier snack and on-the-go meal options. that's not too hard!!
to me, it's never been an issue of WEIGHT. i've never been one to weigh to myself. i can't even remember the last time i checked my weight at home. the only time i think i've ever been weighed is at the doctor, and i don't even go there often if i can help it. i just base if i need to change off of the way i feel and the way i look. and occasionally how my clothes are fitting. if i am uncomfortable, i figure it's time to change.
it's worked for me so far, because i think of it as a lifestyle. so if i decide i need to "lose weight", to me it's really about changing the way i live. it's my life, and i've only got one of 'em, so i need to take care!! i've also never done a "diet". sure, i HAVE a diet, everyone does, it just describes what you eat. but to me, food is to be enjoyed and savored, not counted and tallied and prohibited. (disclaimer: i'm not saying diets are not good. i know a lot of people use them, and they work for a lot of people. i'm just not one of them. i enjoy me some food waaaay too much for that.)
anyway ... i'm going to make a lifestyle change. whew, it feels good to write that down. i usually do better when i have things written down, it's more concrete that way.
i'll keep you updated on how things go ........
Saturday, February 09, 2008
to marry ... or not to marry ... that is the question
okay, seriously people, how are you supposed to know when you're ready to be married? i know everybody just says you'll know when you know ... but that's not good enough for me.
because i think i know. but then there are certain things that make me think maybe i'm not sure.
like the fact that the man i want to marry sometimes drives me crazy. i mean, he wants to marry me, too. i know because he tells me. but then ten minutes later, we will be arguing about something so trivial. and then i think, is this the way i want to spend the rest of my life? do i need to change something to make things better or is this just the way things are? i don't know!!
marriage is a very serious thing to me. not something that you just dismiss if it doesn't work out the way you'd hoped. but forever and ever. no matter what. no questions asked.
sometimes i try to get freaked out by the fact that i want to get married and i know who i want to be married to. but i can't make myself be freaked. which makes me think that i am ready ...
that is such a crazy thought. i'm the girl who NEVER wanted to get married. i just didn't think it was for me. my dad used to tell this story about when i was 3. i was telling him all the things i wanted to have when i grew up (2 dogs, 6 cats, 4 kids, a monkey, etc.). when he asked me "what about a husband?" i looked at him in exasperation and said "daaaady, i don't need a husband!!"
and now that i'm 19 and therefore, of course, have the entire world figured out, i think i'm ready to get married. when i really really stop to think about it, i feel like that thought should freak me out ... but for some insane reason it doesn't. instead, i just think that i'm ready.
am i crazy?? or just in love?
you tell me.
because i think i know. but then there are certain things that make me think maybe i'm not sure.
like the fact that the man i want to marry sometimes drives me crazy. i mean, he wants to marry me, too. i know because he tells me. but then ten minutes later, we will be arguing about something so trivial. and then i think, is this the way i want to spend the rest of my life? do i need to change something to make things better or is this just the way things are? i don't know!!
marriage is a very serious thing to me. not something that you just dismiss if it doesn't work out the way you'd hoped. but forever and ever. no matter what. no questions asked.
sometimes i try to get freaked out by the fact that i want to get married and i know who i want to be married to. but i can't make myself be freaked. which makes me think that i am ready ...
that is such a crazy thought. i'm the girl who NEVER wanted to get married. i just didn't think it was for me. my dad used to tell this story about when i was 3. i was telling him all the things i wanted to have when i grew up (2 dogs, 6 cats, 4 kids, a monkey, etc.). when he asked me "what about a husband?" i looked at him in exasperation and said "daaaady, i don't need a husband!!"
and now that i'm 19 and therefore, of course, have the entire world figured out, i think i'm ready to get married. when i really really stop to think about it, i feel like that thought should freak me out ... but for some insane reason it doesn't. instead, i just think that i'm ready.
am i crazy?? or just in love?
you tell me.
Friday, February 08, 2008
you're not gonna believe this
so the other day i was at our public library here in town. just sitting there doing homework, minding my own business and not disturbing anybody. a man was sitting at the table next to mine with a laptop computer. he obviously had no idea what he was doing, so he asked me to help him get connected to the library's free wireless internet.
of course, i don't ever say no, so i helped him get connected. we started chatting while things were getting set up and eventually he offered me a job. not a normal job, mind you. not the typical job you would think you'd be asked to do as a 19-year-old. no. because normal things don't ever happen in my life.
he asked me to come be an adult dancer at the new bar he was opening.
no, i am not even joking. i just looked at him like he was crazy. he offered me $200/hour plus tips. no experience necessary. i laughed at him. i thought he must think he was pretty clever, and figured he was just going around trying to freak out young women. then he pulls out a business card for this new bar he's opening and tells me to check out the website. he kept pushing me to go in and do an interview, but eventually left me alone when i told him he was being very rude and inappropriate and he needed to stop talking to me like that.
i actually the whole thing was just a big joke. until the next day i heard an advertisement on the radio for new girls to dance at this EXACT same club that just opened! i couldn't believe it.
what a sick freak. this world is becoming a very disgusting place ....
of course, i don't ever say no, so i helped him get connected. we started chatting while things were getting set up and eventually he offered me a job. not a normal job, mind you. not the typical job you would think you'd be asked to do as a 19-year-old. no. because normal things don't ever happen in my life.
he asked me to come be an adult dancer at the new bar he was opening.
no, i am not even joking. i just looked at him like he was crazy. he offered me $200/hour plus tips. no experience necessary. i laughed at him. i thought he must think he was pretty clever, and figured he was just going around trying to freak out young women. then he pulls out a business card for this new bar he's opening and tells me to check out the website. he kept pushing me to go in and do an interview, but eventually left me alone when i told him he was being very rude and inappropriate and he needed to stop talking to me like that.
i actually the whole thing was just a big joke. until the next day i heard an advertisement on the radio for new girls to dance at this EXACT same club that just opened! i couldn't believe it.
what a sick freak. this world is becoming a very disgusting place ....
Thursday, February 07, 2008
l.d. relationships
you know what? long distance relationships are hard. not just those between a boyfriend and girlfriend. between friends or relatives or anybody honestly. i'm not saying they're impossible. it just takes a little more effort to maintain them.
i have a hard time keeping in touch with my friends who live in the same town as me!! so it is incredibly difficult to keep up with people i know all over the world. that's why i think email and facebook are the best inventions ever! they make things so convenient!
of course, the most difficult l.d. relationship i have is with keaton. we have been apart for the majority of our relationship, so i think we're getting pretty good at it. but we still have struggles.
it is so hard to be away from the person you love. there are so many times a day he crosses my mind, and just the little things i miss. like when i see a couple on campus, walking along holding hands, i miss his hands so much. i always feel so secure when he has me by the hand. we walk so perfectly together. our hands all snug and me just ever-so-slightly behind him, walking in stride. i feel so proud when we are walking together! or when i have to lift or transport something heavy. i always think, man, keaton makes stuff like this look so easy! or when i am eating by myself, i wish he were there to share a meal with me. i miss seeing him after work or school, when he rubs my feet and neck and just cuddles with me watching a movie. i miss how he doesn't care if i fall asleep during movies (which i almost always do). he just wakes me up when it's over and talks to me until i'm awake enough to drive home without crashing!
i was thinking the other day, i wonder why so many people choose to be in l.d. relationships? especially couples where one or both are in the military. what a challenge! but then i realized they must have the same thought i do: i would so much rather not SEE keaton all the time than not BE with him at all. every day we spend apart is so worth it when i think that i am his.
plus, things are that much better when we are together! often times, absence truly does make the heart grow fonder. and i can appreciate the time we have together much more when the majority of the time, we are apart.
i know this is completey off subject, but i just remembered something. i love peas so much. i have not had them in sooo long. i think i should make some tomorrow .... hmm what goes well with peas? i'll have to think on it ..... and wish that keat were here to share with me. actually, he doesn't like peas ... oh well.
i have a hard time keeping in touch with my friends who live in the same town as me!! so it is incredibly difficult to keep up with people i know all over the world. that's why i think email and facebook are the best inventions ever! they make things so convenient!
of course, the most difficult l.d. relationship i have is with keaton. we have been apart for the majority of our relationship, so i think we're getting pretty good at it. but we still have struggles.
it is so hard to be away from the person you love. there are so many times a day he crosses my mind, and just the little things i miss. like when i see a couple on campus, walking along holding hands, i miss his hands so much. i always feel so secure when he has me by the hand. we walk so perfectly together. our hands all snug and me just ever-so-slightly behind him, walking in stride. i feel so proud when we are walking together! or when i have to lift or transport something heavy. i always think, man, keaton makes stuff like this look so easy! or when i am eating by myself, i wish he were there to share a meal with me. i miss seeing him after work or school, when he rubs my feet and neck and just cuddles with me watching a movie. i miss how he doesn't care if i fall asleep during movies (which i almost always do). he just wakes me up when it's over and talks to me until i'm awake enough to drive home without crashing!
i was thinking the other day, i wonder why so many people choose to be in l.d. relationships? especially couples where one or both are in the military. what a challenge! but then i realized they must have the same thought i do: i would so much rather not SEE keaton all the time than not BE with him at all. every day we spend apart is so worth it when i think that i am his.
plus, things are that much better when we are together! often times, absence truly does make the heart grow fonder. and i can appreciate the time we have together much more when the majority of the time, we are apart.
i know this is completey off subject, but i just remembered something. i love peas so much. i have not had them in sooo long. i think i should make some tomorrow .... hmm what goes well with peas? i'll have to think on it ..... and wish that keat were here to share with me. actually, he doesn't like peas ... oh well.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
britney ... is she insane?
you know, i realized something the other day. i feel so sorry for britney spears. i know that she brought upon herself a lot of the stuff going on in her life ... but come on, she was just a teenager when she rose to stardom. she had no way of knowing what life would be like 10 years later. poor thing can't even pee without it being public knowledge.
you know what i wish i could do? first, i wish i could just give britney a big ol' oklahoma hug. tell her not to worry about things. everything will turn out all right. sure, she has a lot of problems and a lot of things going on right now, but she'll make it through. then i wish i could just make all of the paparazzi leave her alone. i feel so sad for her everytime i see new footage or photos. imagine for just a moment how awful it would be to have tons of people with cameras swarming you everytime you step foot outside your house? and even stalking you when you're IN your house. it must be awful. then i would try to get someone to help her focus on getting her life back together. figuring out the best way to raise her beautiful children, who are gifts to her from above. figure out how to manage her career and how to make good decisions that are best for her AND her babies. learn how to juggle being a mother and working. and maybe find another job. like one that doesnt require fame. it's not like she even needs a job because she has enough money. she just needs to concentrate on having a family and raising her children. however, she has to have PRIVACY in order to do this. and i dont think she'll get that for a long time ... if ever.
i think the "original" britney had wonderful visions in her head of what fame would be like. to walk the red carpet and be a role model for young girls everywhere and see herself on tv and read about herself in magazines. i'm sure she imagined doing photo shoots and being paid to wear certain things or show up certain places. i'm sure she imagined being recognized in the average american household, and perhaps doing great things for her country. but i dont think she bargained for all this negative media attention. this attention is making it so hard for her to remember who she was. who she is. who she wanted to be. who i'm sure she still WANTS to be for her kids. but poor girl can't get america to leave her alone long enough to let her figure things out.
is she in the right state of mind to have two young children in her care? i don't know. i don't know her personally. but i would love to see her have the chance WITHOUT having to answer to media and the public and doctors and her ex's lawyers. i'd love to see her have the chance to be normal again, to try and have a happy family.
did she bring it on herself by jumping to stardom so young? yes, probably. but NOBODY deserves what she is having to deal with. nobody is perfect. and my heart yearns for her to have the chance to be happy again.
i'm not usually one to keep up with celebrities. honestly, i don't try to keep up with britney. but coverage of her is absolutely everywhere! can't go anywhere without hearing about "what she's done now ..." i can't even imagine the criticism she takes every day, every hour. she never hears that she's done anything right. and i'm sure she has made a few GOOD decisions lately. but of course, we will never hear about them.
is britney insane? i don't think so. i think she is a confused, criticized, beautiful-inside-but-never-reminded-of-it scared young woman who can't find the validation she needs to make it through.
i guess all i can do is pray for her.
you know what i wish i could do? first, i wish i could just give britney a big ol' oklahoma hug. tell her not to worry about things. everything will turn out all right. sure, she has a lot of problems and a lot of things going on right now, but she'll make it through. then i wish i could just make all of the paparazzi leave her alone. i feel so sad for her everytime i see new footage or photos. imagine for just a moment how awful it would be to have tons of people with cameras swarming you everytime you step foot outside your house? and even stalking you when you're IN your house. it must be awful. then i would try to get someone to help her focus on getting her life back together. figuring out the best way to raise her beautiful children, who are gifts to her from above. figure out how to manage her career and how to make good decisions that are best for her AND her babies. learn how to juggle being a mother and working. and maybe find another job. like one that doesnt require fame. it's not like she even needs a job because she has enough money. she just needs to concentrate on having a family and raising her children. however, she has to have PRIVACY in order to do this. and i dont think she'll get that for a long time ... if ever.
i think the "original" britney had wonderful visions in her head of what fame would be like. to walk the red carpet and be a role model for young girls everywhere and see herself on tv and read about herself in magazines. i'm sure she imagined doing photo shoots and being paid to wear certain things or show up certain places. i'm sure she imagined being recognized in the average american household, and perhaps doing great things for her country. but i dont think she bargained for all this negative media attention. this attention is making it so hard for her to remember who she was. who she is. who she wanted to be. who i'm sure she still WANTS to be for her kids. but poor girl can't get america to leave her alone long enough to let her figure things out.
is she in the right state of mind to have two young children in her care? i don't know. i don't know her personally. but i would love to see her have the chance WITHOUT having to answer to media and the public and doctors and her ex's lawyers. i'd love to see her have the chance to be normal again, to try and have a happy family.
did she bring it on herself by jumping to stardom so young? yes, probably. but NOBODY deserves what she is having to deal with. nobody is perfect. and my heart yearns for her to have the chance to be happy again.
i'm not usually one to keep up with celebrities. honestly, i don't try to keep up with britney. but coverage of her is absolutely everywhere! can't go anywhere without hearing about "what she's done now ..." i can't even imagine the criticism she takes every day, every hour. she never hears that she's done anything right. and i'm sure she has made a few GOOD decisions lately. but of course, we will never hear about them.
is britney insane? i don't think so. i think she is a confused, criticized, beautiful-inside-but-never-reminded-of-it scared young woman who can't find the validation she needs to make it through.
i guess all i can do is pray for her.
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