to marry ... or not to marry ... that is the question

okay, seriously people, how are you supposed to know when you're ready to be married? i know everybody just says you'll know when you know ... but that's not good enough for me.

because i think i know. but then there are certain things that make me think maybe i'm not sure.

like the fact that the man i want to marry sometimes drives me crazy. i mean, he wants to marry me, too. i know because he tells me. but then ten minutes later, we will be arguing about something so trivial. and then i think, is this the way i want to spend the rest of my life? do i need to change something to make things better or is this just the way things are? i don't know!!

marriage is a very serious thing to me. not something that you just dismiss if it doesn't work out the way you'd hoped. but forever and ever. no matter what. no questions asked.

sometimes i try to get freaked out by the fact that i want to get married and i know who i want to be married to. but i can't make myself be freaked. which makes me think that i am ready ...

that is such a crazy thought. i'm the girl who NEVER wanted to get married. i just didn't think it was for me. my dad used to tell this story about when i was 3. i was telling him all the things i wanted to have when i grew up (2 dogs, 6 cats, 4 kids, a monkey, etc.). when he asked me "what about a husband?" i looked at him in exasperation and said "daaaady, i don't need a husband!!"

and now that i'm 19 and therefore, of course, have the entire world figured out, i think i'm ready to get married. when i really really stop to think about it, i feel like that thought should freak me out ... but for some insane reason it doesn't. instead, i just think that i'm ready.

am i crazy?? or just in love?


you tell me.