an email i received awhile back .... i AM proud to be an oklahoman!!

This is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks fromOklahoma (which is celebrating its centennial ). . .

If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and theydon't work there, you may live in Oklahoma .

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you maylive in Oklahoma .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone whodialed a wrong number, you may live in Oklahoma .

If "vacation" means going anywhere south of Dallas for theweekend, you may live in Oklahoma .

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Oklahoma .

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once,you may live in Oklahoma .

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Oklahoma .

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Oklahoma .

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Oklahoma .

If you find 60 degrees "a little chilly," you may live inOklahoma .

If you see a tornado warning on the television but don't gettoo awfully excited about it until you actually SEE it coming towardyou, you may live in Oklahoma .

If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to allyour Okie friends & others, you definitely live in Oklahoma . We'ref riendly folks!

Rules of Oklahoma
1. Pull up your droopy pants. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive,you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
3. They are cattle. That's what they smell like to you. Theysmell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes eastand west, & I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.
4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called beingfriendly. Try to understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are comingin, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't haveit up to your ear at the time.
7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi &caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's areligious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women,regardless of age.
10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Ordersteak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds ofham & turkey.
11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes:meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, andPicante Sauce!! Oh, yeah . . .. We don't care what folks inCincinnati call that stuff they eat . . . IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chiliwas born and bred in the West . . . and real chili never met a tomato!
12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet,and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she'dbetter be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
13. College and high school football basketball is importanthere and fun to watch.
14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards-- it spooks the fish.
15. Colleges? Try Oklahoma State University and the Universityof Oklahoma . They come outta there with an education plus a love forGod and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when theycome for the holidays.
16. We have lots of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, andMarines, so "Don't Mess with Oklahoma ." If you do, you will getwhipped by the best.

Oklahoma is the greatest state ever!!

If you do not repost this, you are not a true Okie!!!!! HappyBirthday to us!