my opinion may be a bit simplistic. but, for what's it worth, here it is ...
if our country is in the middle of a war, and illegal immigration is at an all-time high, and child abuse is rampant ....
WHY ON EARTH DO WE HAVE A GRAND JURY AND A CONGRESSIONAL COMMITTEE SPENDING EVERY WAKING MOMENT LOOKING AT STEROIDS IN BASEBALL?!?!?!?
the government needs to get back where it belongs. leave baseball to bud selig and the major league organization. that's what they're good at. and let congress get back to what it's good at.
the government needs to keep its nose out of baseball's business. if that's the best use of our government's time and taxpayer dollars, this is a very sick country.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
what a day!
well as always, things have to be crazy to be my life. i don't know how i would function without bizzare things occuring everyday to keep me amused. the last 48 hours have been no exception.
tuesday started rather normally. i had class that day until 3. after coming home and doing some homework, i left again to go pick up a girl for a private lesson. i brought her back to my house and we worked for about an hour and half, then we went to starbucks and met her grandma and i came home. my dad has been sick for a couple of days, i think he's catching the flu stuff that's going around, so i've been trying to steer clear of him.
well tuesday night i was doing some heavy studying for my spanish test the next day. suddenly it hit me - i had YET to send keaton's valentine's day gift. yikes! i told you i'm bad at this stuff. i started looking for a box and couldn't find anything. usually i have boxes all over the place so i can send little care packages to keaton. but i guess i've used them all cause i've got nothin'. so i made a note in my calendar to go buy a box on wednesday (i HATE buying boxes. it seems like such a waste when you can buy something IN a box and then just re-use the box. but i had no need to buy anything that came in a box ... so i was going to give in and just buy a box. a stupid, empty box.)
i was stinky from the private lesson, so i took a shower before i got in bed. apparently, i was messy when i got out and let water drip on the floor. because when i walked back in the bathroom to hang up my towel ...
WHAM!!
BAM!!
CRUNCH!!
UGH!!
OOF!!
i slipped on the water on the tile floor. my feet just slid right out from underneath me. i really wish i could have seen it because it felt really funny! i basically richoched off of everything in the bathroom, like a ball in a pin machine. i was laughing hysterically. you know, one of those things that hurts so bad you just laugh to keep from crying.
i'm a big klutz and i fall all the time, so i tried to just hop up and keep going. but i couldn't put any weight on my left foot. i went ahead and elevated it and put ice on it that night.
i can't stand to go to the doctor, i guess i think it makes me not tough or something, i don't know ... but i refuse to go if at all possible. but the next morning when i woke and my left ankle was about 4 times as big as my right and all bruised up, i decided to go ahead and give the doc a call. i asked them to just call in some xrays for me, which they did. so after my first two classes (which i had to hobble to on crutches) i went to the radiologist to have my ankle xrayed. then it was back to school for my spanish test.
i had COMPLETELY forgotten about keaton's package, what with going between the doctor and class and all. but when i got home that day, there was a package on the front porch from keaton!! it made me so happy! he's such a sweetie! he usually likes me to wait until the actual day we're celebrating to open his gifts, even if they get there early. but ... i needed the box.
yes, i know, i'm absolutely horrible. i opened his valentine's gift early so i could take the box it came in, pack his stuff in it, re-address it, and ship it right back to tallahassee.
i had just finished packing the box and was taping it up when the cat jumped up on the table. perfect timing. i basically taped his super fluffy tail to the box. i swear, i must have the stickiest packing tape on the planet, and trying to hold down a feisty "teenage" cat who is scratching and biting and trying to gently free his tail hairs loose from this tape is NOT an easy feat!! especially when you're trying to balance on one leg and you're laughing your bum off!
once the cat was finally free, i took keaton's box to the post office and had it overnighted (which of course came with a fee ... why can't i just do this stuff in advance?!? is it really that difficult?) so he should be getting it sometime today! yay!! happy valentine's day, baby!
later i got a call from the doc. my ankle will be fine, it's just fractured. i'm supposed to use crutches for 3-5 weeks and ice and elevate everyday until the swelling's down. then i'm supposed to wrap it daily and it should be good as new in 6-8 weeks. he decided not to cast it because it was a hairline fracture and it had already been so long that if it wasn't perfectly in line, he would have to break it. he knows i would refuse to do that, so he said just wrapping it is fine.
so say hi the next time you see me on campus, on the front desk at the hampton inn, or attempting to teach a dance class on one leg. i'll be the one with swollen armpits (from the silly crutches) hobbling around with one leg up looking like an idiot. yep, that's me.
of course, to end on a positive note, there are a lot of good things about all this. the cat's tail is a little bit thinner now. it was my left ankle that was injured, which means i can still drive! and i think keaton's valentine's day gift will actually make it on valentine's day!!
happy valentine's day everyone!
tuesday started rather normally. i had class that day until 3. after coming home and doing some homework, i left again to go pick up a girl for a private lesson. i brought her back to my house and we worked for about an hour and half, then we went to starbucks and met her grandma and i came home. my dad has been sick for a couple of days, i think he's catching the flu stuff that's going around, so i've been trying to steer clear of him.
well tuesday night i was doing some heavy studying for my spanish test the next day. suddenly it hit me - i had YET to send keaton's valentine's day gift. yikes! i told you i'm bad at this stuff. i started looking for a box and couldn't find anything. usually i have boxes all over the place so i can send little care packages to keaton. but i guess i've used them all cause i've got nothin'. so i made a note in my calendar to go buy a box on wednesday (i HATE buying boxes. it seems like such a waste when you can buy something IN a box and then just re-use the box. but i had no need to buy anything that came in a box ... so i was going to give in and just buy a box. a stupid, empty box.)
i was stinky from the private lesson, so i took a shower before i got in bed. apparently, i was messy when i got out and let water drip on the floor. because when i walked back in the bathroom to hang up my towel ...
WHAM!!
BAM!!
CRUNCH!!
UGH!!
OOF!!
i slipped on the water on the tile floor. my feet just slid right out from underneath me. i really wish i could have seen it because it felt really funny! i basically richoched off of everything in the bathroom, like a ball in a pin machine. i was laughing hysterically. you know, one of those things that hurts so bad you just laugh to keep from crying.
i'm a big klutz and i fall all the time, so i tried to just hop up and keep going. but i couldn't put any weight on my left foot. i went ahead and elevated it and put ice on it that night.
i can't stand to go to the doctor, i guess i think it makes me not tough or something, i don't know ... but i refuse to go if at all possible. but the next morning when i woke and my left ankle was about 4 times as big as my right and all bruised up, i decided to go ahead and give the doc a call. i asked them to just call in some xrays for me, which they did. so after my first two classes (which i had to hobble to on crutches) i went to the radiologist to have my ankle xrayed. then it was back to school for my spanish test.
i had COMPLETELY forgotten about keaton's package, what with going between the doctor and class and all. but when i got home that day, there was a package on the front porch from keaton!! it made me so happy! he's such a sweetie! he usually likes me to wait until the actual day we're celebrating to open his gifts, even if they get there early. but ... i needed the box.
yes, i know, i'm absolutely horrible. i opened his valentine's gift early so i could take the box it came in, pack his stuff in it, re-address it, and ship it right back to tallahassee.
i had just finished packing the box and was taping it up when the cat jumped up on the table. perfect timing. i basically taped his super fluffy tail to the box. i swear, i must have the stickiest packing tape on the planet, and trying to hold down a feisty "teenage" cat who is scratching and biting and trying to gently free his tail hairs loose from this tape is NOT an easy feat!! especially when you're trying to balance on one leg and you're laughing your bum off!
once the cat was finally free, i took keaton's box to the post office and had it overnighted (which of course came with a fee ... why can't i just do this stuff in advance?!? is it really that difficult?) so he should be getting it sometime today! yay!! happy valentine's day, baby!
later i got a call from the doc. my ankle will be fine, it's just fractured. i'm supposed to use crutches for 3-5 weeks and ice and elevate everyday until the swelling's down. then i'm supposed to wrap it daily and it should be good as new in 6-8 weeks. he decided not to cast it because it was a hairline fracture and it had already been so long that if it wasn't perfectly in line, he would have to break it. he knows i would refuse to do that, so he said just wrapping it is fine.
so say hi the next time you see me on campus, on the front desk at the hampton inn, or attempting to teach a dance class on one leg. i'll be the one with swollen armpits (from the silly crutches) hobbling around with one leg up looking like an idiot. yep, that's me.
of course, to end on a positive note, there are a lot of good things about all this. the cat's tail is a little bit thinner now. it was my left ankle that was injured, which means i can still drive! and i think keaton's valentine's day gift will actually make it on valentine's day!!
happy valentine's day everyone!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
from the mouths of babes ...
i babysat for this family sunday night whose kids i absolutely LOVE! they have 4 boys, which is exactly what i want to have, and every time i am there i am reminded why i love little boys so much.
the youngest two (5 and 6) were playing a star wars game on wii and all of a sudden a bunch of droids (i think that's what they were ... i'm not really sure) came out of nowhere and began attacking. the two boys were on the "good guy" team and had to fight them off. when the huge crowd of enemies began to rush them, the six-year-old started saying "oh no! stampede! stampede!"
the youngest, not entirely able to understand his brother's excited shoutings joined in:
"yeah! i stand to pee, too! i stand to pee!"
boys ... gotta love 'em!
he NEVER opens his eyes, even a little bit. he would rather run around for 5 minutes without being able to tag anyone than cheat. sure, he gets a little frustutrated, but never so much that i've seen him cheat at this game. i wish i always played by the rules as much as he does.
and the oldest one, he has soo much patience when it comes to getting homework done. sure, it doesn't help that he wasn't allowed to play his "pirates of the caribbean" game on the computer until it was done. but still. he had been sick for two weeks and out of school, so he had TONS of make up work to do. he was down to the last few assignments and trust me, this was NOT fun homework! i do not want to go back to 4th grade! it was really challenging stuff.
but even though his brothers were all playing and having fun in the next room, he just sat there and focused until everything was done. man, if i could only do that with my homework ...
the next to oldest boy is soo creative. they have a set of those colored magnet shapes and he's always creating new stuff with them. it is so great to see his mind at work. i can tell the wheels are always turning in his head.
and the next to youngest, he has the cutest voice ever. and he is so sweet, he always lets the little one tag along on whatever he's doing. most big brothers would get annoyed by little brother always trying to do what they're doing. but not this guy. he always patiently explains stuff and helps the youngest try stuff out.
i love working with children. it is so great to be able to see their little personalities show through and the differences in the way they think about things. it is exhillerating to me to see their minds at work. God made them each unique and their hearts are so beautiful. i love getting to be a part of their lives and i can't wait to see the men they are becoming!
the youngest two (5 and 6) were playing a star wars game on wii and all of a sudden a bunch of droids (i think that's what they were ... i'm not really sure) came out of nowhere and began attacking. the two boys were on the "good guy" team and had to fight them off. when the huge crowd of enemies began to rush them, the six-year-old started saying "oh no! stampede! stampede!"
the youngest, not entirely able to understand his brother's excited shoutings joined in:
"yeah! i stand to pee, too! i stand to pee!"
boys ... gotta love 'em!
i always learn so much from these boys when i am there. sure, they are energetic and crazy and sometimes a bit ornery, but they are the sweetest kids, and i love seeing their hearts. the youngest is probably the most honest little kid i'ver met in my life. we were playing "dead man's grave" on the trampoline. one person lays in the middle with their eyes closed and everyone else jumps around them. then the one in the middle has to move around with their eyes closed until they tag someone to become the new "dead man".
you know this type of game. the one that, when you were younger, you would always try to play correctly, without cheating. you would close your eyes as tightly as you could but then, after about 30 seconds of not being able to find anyone, your eyes would start opening ever so slightly, just squinting, so you could make out shapes and be able to tag someone. i think everyone's done it, squinted their eyes during an "eyes closed" game in order to tag someone. everyone, that is, except this little boy.he NEVER opens his eyes, even a little bit. he would rather run around for 5 minutes without being able to tag anyone than cheat. sure, he gets a little frustutrated, but never so much that i've seen him cheat at this game. i wish i always played by the rules as much as he does.
and the oldest one, he has soo much patience when it comes to getting homework done. sure, it doesn't help that he wasn't allowed to play his "pirates of the caribbean" game on the computer until it was done. but still. he had been sick for two weeks and out of school, so he had TONS of make up work to do. he was down to the last few assignments and trust me, this was NOT fun homework! i do not want to go back to 4th grade! it was really challenging stuff.
but even though his brothers were all playing and having fun in the next room, he just sat there and focused until everything was done. man, if i could only do that with my homework ...
the next to oldest boy is soo creative. they have a set of those colored magnet shapes and he's always creating new stuff with them. it is so great to see his mind at work. i can tell the wheels are always turning in his head.
and the next to youngest, he has the cutest voice ever. and he is so sweet, he always lets the little one tag along on whatever he's doing. most big brothers would get annoyed by little brother always trying to do what they're doing. but not this guy. he always patiently explains stuff and helps the youngest try stuff out.
i love working with children. it is so great to be able to see their little personalities show through and the differences in the way they think about things. it is exhillerating to me to see their minds at work. God made them each unique and their hearts are so beautiful. i love getting to be a part of their lives and i can't wait to see the men they are becoming!
Sunday, February 10, 2008
i am SUCH a bad girl
no, not that kind. get your mind out of the gutter. (honestly, i didn't even realize what that sounded like until i re-read it ... and then i thought it was funny, so i left it!)
what i mean is, i don't know how to be a girly-girl. sure, i wear make-up and like to straighten my hair and even wear a cute skirt on occasion. but ... i know, i know, i'm a disgrace to all womanhood ... i don't really care for valentine's day.
sure, it's nice to feel appreciated and loved, but keaton makes me feel like that everyday. and i ALWAYS forget about important holidays like valentine's day and anniversaries. birthdays, no problem, i can remember numbers. but sweet little celebrations like that, and my brain just can't seem to get it. keaton ALWAYS has to remind me.
just the other day we were talking on the phone and he said, "hey, i got you something today!" i cooed "aww, how sweet! what for? cause i'm wonderful?" and he said "well yes ... and for valentine's day."
my heart plummeted, my stomach started churning, and i broke out into a cold sweat because, while i couldn't remember the date on which this wonderful day falls, i knew i had not planned for it. well, i didn't really have those symptoms. because i don't really get into all that stuff, but it made for a dramatic effect. all i could think was "crud ... i forgot again ..."
i've never actually forgotten to GET him something for vday, anniversary, etc. but i always have to be reminded, it's sometimes late, and i always have to pay the price! last year, the day before st. patrick's day (which is our anniversary) i was scouring the internet at 11:30 pm looking for a place that would deliver balloons the very next day. and i had to pay a hefty last-minute fee or whatever they called it. it really doesn't pay to be so forgetful. and i think last year, even though i sent him something for v-day, like 4 days before the big day, it didn't even get there until 2 days after ... stupid postal service. so technically, i guess that doesn't count as being a good girlfriend on valentine's day.
now, for most couples, this wouldn't really be an issue. because my guy would never have to remember important dates and would never get in trouble for forgetting a card or a special note to celebrate such-and-such that most women go ga-ga over. but the trouble is ... i think keaton actually LIKES these holidays. it's weird, like that particular "celebration" gene was switched in us. i think he cares more about those holidays than i do, so I'M the one who gets in trouble and feels bad for forgetting! i'm such a man when it comes to stuff like this. who would've thought that the man i'd fall in love with would be the one man on earth who actually DOES remember the important stuff?!? i know, i know, i'm lucky to have a romantic guy, but it sure does put a lot of pressure on me ... lol
in a way i kind of feel sorry for the guy. he probably feels like he puts forth more effort than i do ... and you know, he's probably right. and it really can't be easy for him. as if all you women out there didn't hate me enough by now, i will now admit something even worse ... i don't really like chocolate. it just doesn't appeal to me the way skittles or starburst do. so keaton can't even get me the typical valentine's day gift! he really has to think outside the box for a gift for me ... AND he has to remind me what holidays are coming up so i remember to get HIM something. i am so pathetic.
well this year, thank goodness, keaton reminded me in plenty of time. i actually went shopping the day he told me and picked up a few things to send him for the silly day of love. hopefully, they will go in the mail tomorrow, if i have time to run to the post office between classes and work. otherwise, it'll go out tomorrow and be late ... again.
valentine's day IS the 14th, right?
what i mean is, i don't know how to be a girly-girl. sure, i wear make-up and like to straighten my hair and even wear a cute skirt on occasion. but ... i know, i know, i'm a disgrace to all womanhood ... i don't really care for valentine's day.
sure, it's nice to feel appreciated and loved, but keaton makes me feel like that everyday. and i ALWAYS forget about important holidays like valentine's day and anniversaries. birthdays, no problem, i can remember numbers. but sweet little celebrations like that, and my brain just can't seem to get it. keaton ALWAYS has to remind me.
just the other day we were talking on the phone and he said, "hey, i got you something today!" i cooed "aww, how sweet! what for? cause i'm wonderful?" and he said "well yes ... and for valentine's day."
my heart plummeted, my stomach started churning, and i broke out into a cold sweat because, while i couldn't remember the date on which this wonderful day falls, i knew i had not planned for it. well, i didn't really have those symptoms. because i don't really get into all that stuff, but it made for a dramatic effect. all i could think was "crud ... i forgot again ..."
i've never actually forgotten to GET him something for vday, anniversary, etc. but i always have to be reminded, it's sometimes late, and i always have to pay the price! last year, the day before st. patrick's day (which is our anniversary) i was scouring the internet at 11:30 pm looking for a place that would deliver balloons the very next day. and i had to pay a hefty last-minute fee or whatever they called it. it really doesn't pay to be so forgetful. and i think last year, even though i sent him something for v-day, like 4 days before the big day, it didn't even get there until 2 days after ... stupid postal service. so technically, i guess that doesn't count as being a good girlfriend on valentine's day.
now, for most couples, this wouldn't really be an issue. because my guy would never have to remember important dates and would never get in trouble for forgetting a card or a special note to celebrate such-and-such that most women go ga-ga over. but the trouble is ... i think keaton actually LIKES these holidays. it's weird, like that particular "celebration" gene was switched in us. i think he cares more about those holidays than i do, so I'M the one who gets in trouble and feels bad for forgetting! i'm such a man when it comes to stuff like this. who would've thought that the man i'd fall in love with would be the one man on earth who actually DOES remember the important stuff?!? i know, i know, i'm lucky to have a romantic guy, but it sure does put a lot of pressure on me ... lol
in a way i kind of feel sorry for the guy. he probably feels like he puts forth more effort than i do ... and you know, he's probably right. and it really can't be easy for him. as if all you women out there didn't hate me enough by now, i will now admit something even worse ... i don't really like chocolate. it just doesn't appeal to me the way skittles or starburst do. so keaton can't even get me the typical valentine's day gift! he really has to think outside the box for a gift for me ... AND he has to remind me what holidays are coming up so i remember to get HIM something. i am so pathetic.
well this year, thank goodness, keaton reminded me in plenty of time. i actually went shopping the day he told me and picked up a few things to send him for the silly day of love. hopefully, they will go in the mail tomorrow, if i have time to run to the post office between classes and work. otherwise, it'll go out tomorrow and be late ... again.
valentine's day IS the 14th, right?
i am getting fat ... *sigh*
well, the verdict is in. i am now a very unhealthy human being.
back in high schoool, when i was at the top of my dance competition career and eating nothing but nutritional food and running 8 gazillion times a week, i looked good. i couldn't help it, i just did. it's hard to not look good when you exercise so much and are a health nut.
i don't know what happened to me.
i looked in the mirror before i got in the shower the other day and burst out laughing. man, i look so bad. i mean, clothes cover it up where others can't necessarily tell, but neked .... ooh boy it was painful to look at!
i don't know what happened to me. i just lost it. i stopped making an effort to remain healthy and look good. but rather than get depressed about it, i'm going to CHANGE it!!!
when i moved to florida for a semeter, i was no longer teaching dance twice a week or practicing at home, so that cut my exercise down. i still tried to run a couple times a week, but since i worked crazy odd hours (aaaand lived in orlando, where there's tons of stuff to do ... aaaand went to the beach every chance i got ... aaaand was always doing stuff with friends ...) that didn't leave a whole lot of time to burn those extra calories.
my roommate and i tried to cook healthy, and we actually did pretty well, but i just love food so gosh darn much! and i continued to eat as much as i always have, even though i was exercising less. it was not a good combination ... and left a very nasty result!
but, as i said, i am not going to sit back and just be upset about the change in my appearance. no, siree! i am determined to look better by the end of Febuary.
luckily, i'm not too far gone yet. i think i'm still salvagable. if i just eat right and start exercising again, i should be okay. since starting to teach dance again, and now three times a week, that takes care of a big portion of the exercise! and since i'm so busy and always on the run, i am going to start packing healthier snack and on-the-go meal options. that's not too hard!!
to me, it's never been an issue of WEIGHT. i've never been one to weigh to myself. i can't even remember the last time i checked my weight at home. the only time i think i've ever been weighed is at the doctor, and i don't even go there often if i can help it. i just base if i need to change off of the way i feel and the way i look. and occasionally how my clothes are fitting. if i am uncomfortable, i figure it's time to change.
it's worked for me so far, because i think of it as a lifestyle. so if i decide i need to "lose weight", to me it's really about changing the way i live. it's my life, and i've only got one of 'em, so i need to take care!! i've also never done a "diet". sure, i HAVE a diet, everyone does, it just describes what you eat. but to me, food is to be enjoyed and savored, not counted and tallied and prohibited. (disclaimer: i'm not saying diets are not good. i know a lot of people use them, and they work for a lot of people. i'm just not one of them. i enjoy me some food waaaay too much for that.)
anyway ... i'm going to make a lifestyle change. whew, it feels good to write that down. i usually do better when i have things written down, it's more concrete that way.
i'll keep you updated on how things go ........
back in high schoool, when i was at the top of my dance competition career and eating nothing but nutritional food and running 8 gazillion times a week, i looked good. i couldn't help it, i just did. it's hard to not look good when you exercise so much and are a health nut.
i don't know what happened to me.
i looked in the mirror before i got in the shower the other day and burst out laughing. man, i look so bad. i mean, clothes cover it up where others can't necessarily tell, but neked .... ooh boy it was painful to look at!
i don't know what happened to me. i just lost it. i stopped making an effort to remain healthy and look good. but rather than get depressed about it, i'm going to CHANGE it!!!
when i moved to florida for a semeter, i was no longer teaching dance twice a week or practicing at home, so that cut my exercise down. i still tried to run a couple times a week, but since i worked crazy odd hours (aaaand lived in orlando, where there's tons of stuff to do ... aaaand went to the beach every chance i got ... aaaand was always doing stuff with friends ...) that didn't leave a whole lot of time to burn those extra calories.
my roommate and i tried to cook healthy, and we actually did pretty well, but i just love food so gosh darn much! and i continued to eat as much as i always have, even though i was exercising less. it was not a good combination ... and left a very nasty result!
but, as i said, i am not going to sit back and just be upset about the change in my appearance. no, siree! i am determined to look better by the end of Febuary.
luckily, i'm not too far gone yet. i think i'm still salvagable. if i just eat right and start exercising again, i should be okay. since starting to teach dance again, and now three times a week, that takes care of a big portion of the exercise! and since i'm so busy and always on the run, i am going to start packing healthier snack and on-the-go meal options. that's not too hard!!
to me, it's never been an issue of WEIGHT. i've never been one to weigh to myself. i can't even remember the last time i checked my weight at home. the only time i think i've ever been weighed is at the doctor, and i don't even go there often if i can help it. i just base if i need to change off of the way i feel and the way i look. and occasionally how my clothes are fitting. if i am uncomfortable, i figure it's time to change.
it's worked for me so far, because i think of it as a lifestyle. so if i decide i need to "lose weight", to me it's really about changing the way i live. it's my life, and i've only got one of 'em, so i need to take care!! i've also never done a "diet". sure, i HAVE a diet, everyone does, it just describes what you eat. but to me, food is to be enjoyed and savored, not counted and tallied and prohibited. (disclaimer: i'm not saying diets are not good. i know a lot of people use them, and they work for a lot of people. i'm just not one of them. i enjoy me some food waaaay too much for that.)
anyway ... i'm going to make a lifestyle change. whew, it feels good to write that down. i usually do better when i have things written down, it's more concrete that way.
i'll keep you updated on how things go ........
Saturday, February 09, 2008
to marry ... or not to marry ... that is the question
okay, seriously people, how are you supposed to know when you're ready to be married? i know everybody just says you'll know when you know ... but that's not good enough for me.
because i think i know. but then there are certain things that make me think maybe i'm not sure.
like the fact that the man i want to marry sometimes drives me crazy. i mean, he wants to marry me, too. i know because he tells me. but then ten minutes later, we will be arguing about something so trivial. and then i think, is this the way i want to spend the rest of my life? do i need to change something to make things better or is this just the way things are? i don't know!!
marriage is a very serious thing to me. not something that you just dismiss if it doesn't work out the way you'd hoped. but forever and ever. no matter what. no questions asked.
sometimes i try to get freaked out by the fact that i want to get married and i know who i want to be married to. but i can't make myself be freaked. which makes me think that i am ready ...
that is such a crazy thought. i'm the girl who NEVER wanted to get married. i just didn't think it was for me. my dad used to tell this story about when i was 3. i was telling him all the things i wanted to have when i grew up (2 dogs, 6 cats, 4 kids, a monkey, etc.). when he asked me "what about a husband?" i looked at him in exasperation and said "daaaady, i don't need a husband!!"
and now that i'm 19 and therefore, of course, have the entire world figured out, i think i'm ready to get married. when i really really stop to think about it, i feel like that thought should freak me out ... but for some insane reason it doesn't. instead, i just think that i'm ready.
am i crazy?? or just in love?
you tell me.
because i think i know. but then there are certain things that make me think maybe i'm not sure.
like the fact that the man i want to marry sometimes drives me crazy. i mean, he wants to marry me, too. i know because he tells me. but then ten minutes later, we will be arguing about something so trivial. and then i think, is this the way i want to spend the rest of my life? do i need to change something to make things better or is this just the way things are? i don't know!!
marriage is a very serious thing to me. not something that you just dismiss if it doesn't work out the way you'd hoped. but forever and ever. no matter what. no questions asked.
sometimes i try to get freaked out by the fact that i want to get married and i know who i want to be married to. but i can't make myself be freaked. which makes me think that i am ready ...
that is such a crazy thought. i'm the girl who NEVER wanted to get married. i just didn't think it was for me. my dad used to tell this story about when i was 3. i was telling him all the things i wanted to have when i grew up (2 dogs, 6 cats, 4 kids, a monkey, etc.). when he asked me "what about a husband?" i looked at him in exasperation and said "daaaady, i don't need a husband!!"
and now that i'm 19 and therefore, of course, have the entire world figured out, i think i'm ready to get married. when i really really stop to think about it, i feel like that thought should freak me out ... but for some insane reason it doesn't. instead, i just think that i'm ready.
am i crazy?? or just in love?
you tell me.
Friday, February 08, 2008
you're not gonna believe this
so the other day i was at our public library here in town. just sitting there doing homework, minding my own business and not disturbing anybody. a man was sitting at the table next to mine with a laptop computer. he obviously had no idea what he was doing, so he asked me to help him get connected to the library's free wireless internet.
of course, i don't ever say no, so i helped him get connected. we started chatting while things were getting set up and eventually he offered me a job. not a normal job, mind you. not the typical job you would think you'd be asked to do as a 19-year-old. no. because normal things don't ever happen in my life.
he asked me to come be an adult dancer at the new bar he was opening.
no, i am not even joking. i just looked at him like he was crazy. he offered me $200/hour plus tips. no experience necessary. i laughed at him. i thought he must think he was pretty clever, and figured he was just going around trying to freak out young women. then he pulls out a business card for this new bar he's opening and tells me to check out the website. he kept pushing me to go in and do an interview, but eventually left me alone when i told him he was being very rude and inappropriate and he needed to stop talking to me like that.
i actually the whole thing was just a big joke. until the next day i heard an advertisement on the radio for new girls to dance at this EXACT same club that just opened! i couldn't believe it.
what a sick freak. this world is becoming a very disgusting place ....
of course, i don't ever say no, so i helped him get connected. we started chatting while things were getting set up and eventually he offered me a job. not a normal job, mind you. not the typical job you would think you'd be asked to do as a 19-year-old. no. because normal things don't ever happen in my life.
he asked me to come be an adult dancer at the new bar he was opening.
no, i am not even joking. i just looked at him like he was crazy. he offered me $200/hour plus tips. no experience necessary. i laughed at him. i thought he must think he was pretty clever, and figured he was just going around trying to freak out young women. then he pulls out a business card for this new bar he's opening and tells me to check out the website. he kept pushing me to go in and do an interview, but eventually left me alone when i told him he was being very rude and inappropriate and he needed to stop talking to me like that.
i actually the whole thing was just a big joke. until the next day i heard an advertisement on the radio for new girls to dance at this EXACT same club that just opened! i couldn't believe it.
what a sick freak. this world is becoming a very disgusting place ....
Thursday, February 07, 2008
l.d. relationships
you know what? long distance relationships are hard. not just those between a boyfriend and girlfriend. between friends or relatives or anybody honestly. i'm not saying they're impossible. it just takes a little more effort to maintain them.
i have a hard time keeping in touch with my friends who live in the same town as me!! so it is incredibly difficult to keep up with people i know all over the world. that's why i think email and facebook are the best inventions ever! they make things so convenient!
of course, the most difficult l.d. relationship i have is with keaton. we have been apart for the majority of our relationship, so i think we're getting pretty good at it. but we still have struggles.
it is so hard to be away from the person you love. there are so many times a day he crosses my mind, and just the little things i miss. like when i see a couple on campus, walking along holding hands, i miss his hands so much. i always feel so secure when he has me by the hand. we walk so perfectly together. our hands all snug and me just ever-so-slightly behind him, walking in stride. i feel so proud when we are walking together! or when i have to lift or transport something heavy. i always think, man, keaton makes stuff like this look so easy! or when i am eating by myself, i wish he were there to share a meal with me. i miss seeing him after work or school, when he rubs my feet and neck and just cuddles with me watching a movie. i miss how he doesn't care if i fall asleep during movies (which i almost always do). he just wakes me up when it's over and talks to me until i'm awake enough to drive home without crashing!
i was thinking the other day, i wonder why so many people choose to be in l.d. relationships? especially couples where one or both are in the military. what a challenge! but then i realized they must have the same thought i do: i would so much rather not SEE keaton all the time than not BE with him at all. every day we spend apart is so worth it when i think that i am his.
plus, things are that much better when we are together! often times, absence truly does make the heart grow fonder. and i can appreciate the time we have together much more when the majority of the time, we are apart.
i know this is completey off subject, but i just remembered something. i love peas so much. i have not had them in sooo long. i think i should make some tomorrow .... hmm what goes well with peas? i'll have to think on it ..... and wish that keat were here to share with me. actually, he doesn't like peas ... oh well.
i have a hard time keeping in touch with my friends who live in the same town as me!! so it is incredibly difficult to keep up with people i know all over the world. that's why i think email and facebook are the best inventions ever! they make things so convenient!
of course, the most difficult l.d. relationship i have is with keaton. we have been apart for the majority of our relationship, so i think we're getting pretty good at it. but we still have struggles.
it is so hard to be away from the person you love. there are so many times a day he crosses my mind, and just the little things i miss. like when i see a couple on campus, walking along holding hands, i miss his hands so much. i always feel so secure when he has me by the hand. we walk so perfectly together. our hands all snug and me just ever-so-slightly behind him, walking in stride. i feel so proud when we are walking together! or when i have to lift or transport something heavy. i always think, man, keaton makes stuff like this look so easy! or when i am eating by myself, i wish he were there to share a meal with me. i miss seeing him after work or school, when he rubs my feet and neck and just cuddles with me watching a movie. i miss how he doesn't care if i fall asleep during movies (which i almost always do). he just wakes me up when it's over and talks to me until i'm awake enough to drive home without crashing!
i was thinking the other day, i wonder why so many people choose to be in l.d. relationships? especially couples where one or both are in the military. what a challenge! but then i realized they must have the same thought i do: i would so much rather not SEE keaton all the time than not BE with him at all. every day we spend apart is so worth it when i think that i am his.
plus, things are that much better when we are together! often times, absence truly does make the heart grow fonder. and i can appreciate the time we have together much more when the majority of the time, we are apart.
i know this is completey off subject, but i just remembered something. i love peas so much. i have not had them in sooo long. i think i should make some tomorrow .... hmm what goes well with peas? i'll have to think on it ..... and wish that keat were here to share with me. actually, he doesn't like peas ... oh well.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
britney ... is she insane?
you know, i realized something the other day. i feel so sorry for britney spears. i know that she brought upon herself a lot of the stuff going on in her life ... but come on, she was just a teenager when she rose to stardom. she had no way of knowing what life would be like 10 years later. poor thing can't even pee without it being public knowledge.
you know what i wish i could do? first, i wish i could just give britney a big ol' oklahoma hug. tell her not to worry about things. everything will turn out all right. sure, she has a lot of problems and a lot of things going on right now, but she'll make it through. then i wish i could just make all of the paparazzi leave her alone. i feel so sad for her everytime i see new footage or photos. imagine for just a moment how awful it would be to have tons of people with cameras swarming you everytime you step foot outside your house? and even stalking you when you're IN your house. it must be awful. then i would try to get someone to help her focus on getting her life back together. figuring out the best way to raise her beautiful children, who are gifts to her from above. figure out how to manage her career and how to make good decisions that are best for her AND her babies. learn how to juggle being a mother and working. and maybe find another job. like one that doesnt require fame. it's not like she even needs a job because she has enough money. she just needs to concentrate on having a family and raising her children. however, she has to have PRIVACY in order to do this. and i dont think she'll get that for a long time ... if ever.
i think the "original" britney had wonderful visions in her head of what fame would be like. to walk the red carpet and be a role model for young girls everywhere and see herself on tv and read about herself in magazines. i'm sure she imagined doing photo shoots and being paid to wear certain things or show up certain places. i'm sure she imagined being recognized in the average american household, and perhaps doing great things for her country. but i dont think she bargained for all this negative media attention. this attention is making it so hard for her to remember who she was. who she is. who she wanted to be. who i'm sure she still WANTS to be for her kids. but poor girl can't get america to leave her alone long enough to let her figure things out.
is she in the right state of mind to have two young children in her care? i don't know. i don't know her personally. but i would love to see her have the chance WITHOUT having to answer to media and the public and doctors and her ex's lawyers. i'd love to see her have the chance to be normal again, to try and have a happy family.
did she bring it on herself by jumping to stardom so young? yes, probably. but NOBODY deserves what she is having to deal with. nobody is perfect. and my heart yearns for her to have the chance to be happy again.
i'm not usually one to keep up with celebrities. honestly, i don't try to keep up with britney. but coverage of her is absolutely everywhere! can't go anywhere without hearing about "what she's done now ..." i can't even imagine the criticism she takes every day, every hour. she never hears that she's done anything right. and i'm sure she has made a few GOOD decisions lately. but of course, we will never hear about them.
is britney insane? i don't think so. i think she is a confused, criticized, beautiful-inside-but-never-reminded-of-it scared young woman who can't find the validation she needs to make it through.
i guess all i can do is pray for her.
you know what i wish i could do? first, i wish i could just give britney a big ol' oklahoma hug. tell her not to worry about things. everything will turn out all right. sure, she has a lot of problems and a lot of things going on right now, but she'll make it through. then i wish i could just make all of the paparazzi leave her alone. i feel so sad for her everytime i see new footage or photos. imagine for just a moment how awful it would be to have tons of people with cameras swarming you everytime you step foot outside your house? and even stalking you when you're IN your house. it must be awful. then i would try to get someone to help her focus on getting her life back together. figuring out the best way to raise her beautiful children, who are gifts to her from above. figure out how to manage her career and how to make good decisions that are best for her AND her babies. learn how to juggle being a mother and working. and maybe find another job. like one that doesnt require fame. it's not like she even needs a job because she has enough money. she just needs to concentrate on having a family and raising her children. however, she has to have PRIVACY in order to do this. and i dont think she'll get that for a long time ... if ever.
i think the "original" britney had wonderful visions in her head of what fame would be like. to walk the red carpet and be a role model for young girls everywhere and see herself on tv and read about herself in magazines. i'm sure she imagined doing photo shoots and being paid to wear certain things or show up certain places. i'm sure she imagined being recognized in the average american household, and perhaps doing great things for her country. but i dont think she bargained for all this negative media attention. this attention is making it so hard for her to remember who she was. who she is. who she wanted to be. who i'm sure she still WANTS to be for her kids. but poor girl can't get america to leave her alone long enough to let her figure things out.
is she in the right state of mind to have two young children in her care? i don't know. i don't know her personally. but i would love to see her have the chance WITHOUT having to answer to media and the public and doctors and her ex's lawyers. i'd love to see her have the chance to be normal again, to try and have a happy family.
did she bring it on herself by jumping to stardom so young? yes, probably. but NOBODY deserves what she is having to deal with. nobody is perfect. and my heart yearns for her to have the chance to be happy again.
i'm not usually one to keep up with celebrities. honestly, i don't try to keep up with britney. but coverage of her is absolutely everywhere! can't go anywhere without hearing about "what she's done now ..." i can't even imagine the criticism she takes every day, every hour. she never hears that she's done anything right. and i'm sure she has made a few GOOD decisions lately. but of course, we will never hear about them.
is britney insane? i don't think so. i think she is a confused, criticized, beautiful-inside-but-never-reminded-of-it scared young woman who can't find the validation she needs to make it through.
i guess all i can do is pray for her.
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